Time Travelled — almost 4 years


I think about love a lot; the concept, the feeling, the social aspect. Love is as important to me as math is to an engineer.
I've been mulling over the idea of if we ever actually know what love is and I know that's a crazy thing to be contemplating because we must, to some degree that is, have a decent grasp on love. But I wonder, do we experience love without knowing? Will we reach one day when we understand, wholeheartedly, that love is more than what it is portrayed as?
I don't know and to be quite frank, I may never know but I value the idea regardless and I feel like it is my civil duty to record love through my eyes as it is today. So that maybe, one day, I will be able to put together my working theory on love and come to a conclusion that is suitable enough.
The foundation for love is trust. That is commonly heard but I believe it to be true, nevertheless. I think I'm getting ahead of myself--trust is the foundation for a relationship, not love. I think, although I have never been in a relationship, that I know more about that than I do love in general. Relationships are easy, you need trust and respect, boundaries and passion but love is not always there and yet the relationship will still continue to work well as long as the other components are there.
People don't really marry for love, do they? It has to deal more with security and a lot of the time, pregnancy. I'm beginning to realize that I don't have a clue on any of this. I haven't thought deeply enough.
I have questions: do we fall out of love? Can we love at first sight? Can you be in love with someone but choose yourself over them?
I see people together that I know won't last because I see the lack of passion, the lack of love and I hear stories, maybe to some degree I've experienced it, of two lovers never coming together, forever in this tragedy of love. And I wonder if my expectations are outlandish and I force myself to be alone, if I hang on to the idea of a love affair to prevent myself from maturing and loving. Maybe I want to much from the world, from people. Is it because I feel that I'm not asking enough from myself?


Sep 7th, 2017 → Sep 7th, 2021 • 413 words

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