Time Travelled — about 6 years

This is not spam Howie, this is your past self sending a letter.

Jul 11, 2009 Sep 19, 2015

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe,

I'm writing this on July 11th, 2009. I hope that you, my future self, gets this. I don't think that technology would be that advanced in the future that emails won't be used. Will it? Hmm... I guess we will see. This website is pretty interesting, it sends emails to the future. I have read some of the public entries on here and most of them are pretty stupid. Some of them are really heartfelt though, very intimate and personal. Oh shit, what if I died? Fuck then. Whoever has this email next can enjoy.

Anyway, I'm turning 15 soon. Two more months. I guess, I should also say happy birthday? Turning 21 now huh (if I did the math right, years are so confusing)? Damn. So old. Just the other day I remember turning 12! But yeah, happy birthday. And maybe congratulations if you ended up going to college or university right after high school, you would probably be int he middle of your years or finishing it up. I really doubt it though. Considering the economy is really shitty right now. Dad got laid off, mom is doing three day shifts every week, the mortgage has to be paid. Maybe you got a scholarship? That would be awesome. You deserve it, unless you decided to flunk. Your stupid if you did. I have great potential, and I demand that my future self has reached that potential.

I'm in quite a turmoil right now. You know? That teenage angst shit that everyone goes though. The "oh my god, what is the meaning of life, what is the point of my existence shit". Very deep sentimental stuff man. I thought I got through that stuff before but it seems that have come back.

I have been going out with AC for about six months now and all my friends are either fakes, naive, stupid or annoying. I wonder if that changed? Have you broken up with AC? I honestly hope that you have at this point of time. He is way too dark and shit. It is going to have negative impacts on your life, his dreams are way different than mine. Though then again, I hope you haven't and kept him. He treats me well, he talks to me about emotional stuff and everything. I just don't think he is "the one" you know?

Are mom and dad well? Alive? How about your siblings and their significant others? Your nieces and nephews? New additions to the family?

Have you told them that you are bisexual?

Eh, whatever. Not their problem. I hope that you are well, healthy and sort of happy with life. I hope that you are still doing art, I hope that you are still using music for therapy. I hope that the music that you are listening to, is music that I would listen to. Please don't tell me that your listening to trance and techno. God please don't. I hope you found a confident. I hope that you got your first kiss from someone meaningful. I hope that you saved sex for someone beautiful inside and out. Someone that respects you, honours you. Someone that would take a bullet for you. I hope that your free to do things that I have always dreamed of doing. I hope that your still writing in your journals. I hope that you became a better person.

I seriously hope that you didn't get knocked up and got pregnant. I don't want a kid. The birthing process seems so intense, and I don't think I could commit myself to raising a human being. What if I screw up and they become a jerk?

I want to do a lot of things in life right now. Learn to play guitar (have you, if you don't find someone that does and learn before you regret it for the rest of your life!), find love, have great friends, awesome job that I enjoy, sweet condo, drive a motorcycle with my signature knee-length leather jacket and sunglasses. Yeah, that would be sick. I want to start exercising daily or something to be healthier, I want to learn how to cook awesome food. I want a lot of shit right now.

I want a girlfriend right now. Seriously, even if I have a boyfriend right now. God that sounds messed up. Shit man. Do you have a girlfriend? You should show her this email from your past self. Must be entertaining. Haha. Is she hot? I hope she is. Actually never mind, not hot, that is degrading to women all around the world. I meant is she beautiful in your eyes? If she is, great for you and great for her because she landed a good one. Hell yeah. And to the girlfriend, is my future self treating you well? If my future self isn't, please smack her for me and my future self can't complain because her past self allows it. I love you, even if I don't know who you are, but I know that my future self isn't stupid enough to let anyone but a great person catch her. You know? She loves the freedom, it is great that you hold her together. Damn... this would be totally awesome for my future self if you guys are fighting right now! I let you smack her and I'm basically saying all this lovey-dovey shit so she can get in your pants again and off of the couch! Okay, I'm done, back to talking to my future self... by the way, after my future self is finished reading this, bang her, she deserves it after reading all this sentimental crap that is sure to bring up horrible memories that she probably didn't tell you about. Fucking stupid future self, thinks she is all that.

Anyway, if you have something that you want to do, do it. This is the fucking sign that you needed. From your awesome 14 year old self. Seriously. BAM, PEW, PEW, PEW, GO! Be selfish for once in your life and do something that you honestly want to do or have. If there is someone that you are crushing, tell them. If there was a fight between you and someone, go and make things right. Go do something spontaneous, tell people how much they mean to you. If you are a druggie, quit now, same for smoking. God woman, didn't your past self in your head ever tell you that you could get nasty breath, yellow teeth and black lungs. God, don't you remember those pig lungs with cancer that you saw in Science class in 9th grade? Nasty shit.

By the way, I love you. I just thought that you would know that. Even if you are a fucked up pregnant druggie psychotic whore in in the future. I know that after reading this you will get better for good. But then again, if your awesome famous happy in love and just amazing, good for you! Now just keep doing the same thing while doing bad shit behind everybody's back.

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Jul 11, 2009 → Sep 19, 2015 • 1184 words
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