ayeee birthday thot

Dear F.Z, You made it this far bruh i hope you're rich. Sooo who's the lucky guy? Now rest in peace. bye. no jk (This is how i used to write back in 2015? lmao) Why am I making a joke in an e-mail sent to myself? Alright, let's get serious. How have you been the past few years? I hope everything is going fine in your life. Of course you would face problems and troubles every now and then but i hope you are succesful now. It feels really weird writing this to myself right now, and probably would feel weird for you to read this self written letter from your past self. I just created a new e-mail account, just for this letter and other professional/college e-mails. So if you receive this it means that this website is still working ten years from now and congratulations you kept this adress for 10 more years. I am writing this as a reminder, but also because i have so many things to ask the future me and also some advices, rants and life goals to share, and I honestly don't know where to start. I've been really depressed these last days, for no particular reason. Even though i'm a patient person and don't cry easily, i've been crying a lot recently and over very small and pointless things. It's like i'm realizing just now how unfearly i've been treated my whole life. I shouldn't be complaining because i also have things that most girls at my age crave. My dad bought me a car few months ago and i'm really grateful for the effort he puts to make me happy and make my life easier for me, he's really a considerate person. Mom? Of course she is too, how can i ignore all the sacrifices and pain she went through just to see us smile and feel secure. All of those things don't make me forget the farget that i haven't lived my life like other kids though, they did so many things to me that i would ,ever be able to forget and you probably know what i'm talking about unless you forgot, which is a good thing. Deep inside i want to forgive them, I'm a grown up person, and a grown up person learns how to forget and forgive. I sometimes think that i'm being selfish and greedy, no matter how many good things they did to me and how well they treated me i will only remember the bad things, and only grow more upset. Today is your birthday. You're 30 now. How is my life in 10 years like? How mature did I get? How many more books did I read? Do I still have enough time to read? Did I buy a camera? What kind of camera do I have? What kind of phone do I have? Do phones still exist? What other inventions have been discovered the last ten years? Is the world a better place? Or did it only get messier and messier? How many people are converting into islam? Did I keep in touch with my friends? Do I have new friends or are my friends still the same? Romaissa, Zineb, Louiza, Hayet, Nadia, Sabrina, Imene, Imene, Meriem, Maryem...? How far did I get in life? How educated am I? Did I get married? What's my husband like? Do I have children? If so, how many? For now, i'm not so into the idea of marriage, but to please my parents, and since it's half our deen, i'm willing to get married, and the ideal age would be 26 or more. It would be great if i got married at 30 right? I mean at least i would have lived my life to the fullest, hopefully. And enjoyed my parent's presence in my life and had the time to cherish them even more. If I had kids i would want just one, or maybe two, why not? I like kids. I want a girl and a boy, god willing. If you didn't get married, than that's fine, that might be better for you, you don't need a man in your life to be happy. Did I finish my studies? Am I a teacher or do i work in a lab? Am I a teacher in college or university? Did I even finish my biology studies? or did I switch to anything else? How many good things have i done in life? Did I make my parents proud? Did I become a bad person? How many more languages did I learn? Did my english improve? What are your new daily habits? Did you keep any old ones? And most importantly, are my parents still alive? IS your brother studying/working abroad? Hope he made his dreak come true. What about your younger brother, he's 16 now, which means he's in high school, do you help him understand his lessons? How does he look like? Did he get handsome? does he look like his older brother? How is your health? Did you lose some weight? Did you get taller? If you're married, how do you treat your husband? What kind of man is he? Is he your ideal type? Is he what your mom wanted? Is he what your dad wanted too? an open minded person, but also religious. A loving, caring, respectful, educated and lovely person. A man that makes you feel safe and secure. A man that makes you feel at home and that you're not alone even when there is only the two of you there. How does he look like? How is his personality? What does he work? Did he finish his studies? Did you visit Japan? Or Korea? How many countries did you visit? How many dreams did you realize? Do you still use lame nicknames? Wan Oclock, Chaerin Kpopulous, Sevengfromgaver Vipnblackjackkpoplover, drakobby, chanyeolfarts, whatisakris, fistmedaddy666? Ok joke, i've never used the last one, I'm just testing your memory. Did you panic remembering how messed up you were 10 years ago? Do you love yourself more? Are you more comfortable with your body now? I want you to love yourself, you are skinnier than you think, don't let people tell you otherwise. You grew with the idea that you're just a useless, fat, antisocial, awkward girl. That is all so wrong, you're an amazing person. Even though people criticize you a lot, they envy you. Keep practicing sport. Your body might have changed, but you heart hasn't. Wear more sunscreen. You don't have to get something done everyday.Don’t spend even 5 seconds wishing you had lived parts of your life differently. You really cannot change the past. Move on. #NoRegrets. Help someone be more than they think can be. Appreciate nature, appreciate your surroundings, appreciate your family, the air your breathing, the ground you're walking on, the water you're drinking... Nothing lasts forever. Keep doing what you love, age doesn't stop you from doing that, stay creative and productive. Draw, read, take photos, go out, hang out with friends, prepare a traditional dinner, visit a museum, travel... Be grateful for every little thing and enjoy the present moment. Don't give up no matter how tough life gets. Don't let little things bring you down. It's okay to count on your friends when you have a worry. Ask help from people more, don't be the one helping the others forever, you can rely on someone too. Don't be the only one carying a burden and burying it down. Don't let shameless people step on you several times, speak for yourself. Don't be too shy. Anyone who gets on your way is a target. Think before you speak. Try not to gain weight, but don't force yourself too much. Show your parents how much you love them, cherish them, don't push them away. Make your life interesting, make it worth a story written in a book. I just wanted to tyoe this so that a childhood memory can be remembered. Wait, childhood? I might have used the wrong word. Reminder: you're drop dead gorgeous. Now is a good time to write another letter to your ten years old self, which makes you 40 y.o. And keep the same e-mail address. xoxo. bye lmao. jk Sincerely, M.F.Z, August 8th, 2015 (Age 20)