Message from Your Former Self

Dear FutureMe, Your past me is at a crossroads. The Phd is done, but appears to have been a (quarter million dollar and 14+ year) waste of time. I hope that I am wrong and that later events will show that everything was good and necessary. B will be five in May and I'll be 41 in a couple of weeks. Everything is beginning to bloom and I've planted ferns from Gramma - we just visited her to celebrate in our small way her 88th birthday. I'm looking at this tome that took up so much of my life - and looking at the lack of teaching positions, the chances for me to get a job here that will allow me to pay back most of my debt before I die and feeling as though I should have gone to law school. In the future, will I still feel this despair? Will I see a meaning for this path I chose? All in all, I would rather have been enjoying my life instead of living in dread and insecurity all those years. I am writing this to you, future me, so that you can review the situation (cf. Oliver). The simple things are what bring me the most enjoyment. Look around. What surrounds you now? What have you chosen?