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A letter from October 9th, 2012

Dear FutureMe,

I hope this email finds you well, I have sent you a similar letter in the past written back when we were 15 years of age, and you received it 5 years later. Sadly, most of the goals and hopes you had wished for, didn't come true... and you are now leading a totally different life than you had imagined, and frankly,a better one than that which you've anticipated. Bushra,or as someone special calls you "Bibi"... I have but one word to tell you, I'm proud of the woman you've become, at age 22, I have seen you over the years evolve into quite the lady, you've always had the potential but you are now getting closer to the finalized and more polished version. you still act childish sometimes though...

as I've already mentioned, you ended up going a different path than the one you had planned for, so this time, I won't be placing expectations or setting aims and goals for, as most probably, you'll be doing something else... I wish for you happiness and peace, I wish for you love and passion.. honestly speaking, between you and me, I know you are very strong, independent, and intelligent, but sometimes I fear for you, you are rather sensitive and emotional, and I know that would not change. Currently at this point of life, your future is worrying me a lot, at this stage I'm lacking stability, I'm about to graduate and cannot know which career pathway would suit me best, soon I'll be leaving Irbid, and believe it or not, it's your home, and leaving it is no easy task... here in Irbid I feel more grounded than any other place, I feel my independence, and my freedom of choice... and I'm lacking stability in my love life as well, needless to remind you... (I'm not going to say I hope or I wish or I pray... whatever happens happens, I'm placing no expectations as I promised)... everyone around you are graduating, getting married, having a more defined life than yours, than ours. and that makes me so insecure and unhappy at times... because I still have not found home, or that someone with whom i'll have a home..

other than that, I want you to know, that you are a good person, classy, sharp, funny, loving, caring, good looking, trust worthy, artistic, and tasteful... and I have no doubt in my mind, like you'll carry on being all these if not more...

please, promise that you will not cry when reading this.. I know you will be touched, and that you'll be missing me, but remember that I'm always within you..

in the previous letter I had written you at the end "wherever you are, and whatever you're doing, I know you could use some laughs" and ended it with a joke, and a pretty good one!... I remember when you read it you were crying and laughing all at once... but this time, I'm going to tell you, no matter where you are, and what you're doing, I know you could use some LOVE, I love you...

you had a pretty intense life so far, and probably you've got a lot to come as well... I only wish you'd be happy, and if you are not, please find your happiness and fight for it, you owe it to me... I am so worried about my future me, too anxious that I cannot put it in words..

I love you, please be well.

P.S: this picture captures the essence of your soul, so innocent, playful, imaginative, sweet, silly, and most of all, genuine.

Sent 7 years to the future from December 9th, 2012 to October 9th, 2020

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