feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym wno rsotise. Dnnapel it, ko oemh i fetl htta eflt — as nda dite emtanmulno vene but saw eoufphl ot ot eavel tehegyirvn i. Borfee saw my no me eufurt oighsmnet sgiwn up kiel gneipno. .
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Waya cna nca cayrz ruo nokw rtefuu s’it odnw dna be owh wha?t igaan, essemoimt uyo the esolc ivsle pidwe utb. Ksown smohtn hatt, erfta eeforb letret ago arsye isx ubt ,llwe woh htat ahs ldevi stih saw oabtu 2020 nesols etniwtr rdalnee naenyo net rptety eth ghtoruh i lwel. — wthi gdeisndao ym and aws i rrhbeto ncreac.
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Oslmat enghuo ot ays, ehter rghit tsaht’. Ot ulealyvtne eratf hhogtu fwe ephl nveer i eth a eb nda twih ohmec ceernp,ixee den fdheiisn fof ilcytap hmi enve tog i tihw hte giknat ni egceoll tenh rsyea. Pahpy ieseromm, ttha go enev ni tgo ekam lgoelce cegll,oe tnyo,ucr ot flse etvdatedas to atlcpiy my odtl angtditen ’id be fi geoelcl ane-tg-oeyra be eevrn i ro i iewhl or hoaretn. Slos hitngno of i eth kwno my ttha is sols nwo of oceheopleg-l ubt eht pdaorcem to osme erhrtob oruhpamso.
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Triefndfe mrof 18 dlo cmeltleopy eonpsr i hre ikel ckab ym kolo smstiemoe at a nda i elfe erya slfe. Evrsne,ui a duostei engiiam mtie hten i hre lelplara of rwsmoheee btu nxsitige ni. Waay adn tasrt gwrntii ielf ot tabou owrl,d ehert nda s’hse ittnisg ttah gnatiwn erh in egt stih rettle. Hrros’tbe baotu dwon no ro,om adn dan re’teyh s’she iton dan frseind rgetthoe niogg hre reiangwnd laktgni oolfr laswk dan ujts iluhgnga teh dan mcisu nad nttisig ,rat kimagn onw and ehnt and coeokis ofr. Enon fo het to eht irgleznai ont see it htwa hwo be seattmr in no heva sieommer to ot dna they taht gntliak eogn iemt oen sdmare otbau other r’ethye ethm higstl, buaot twna llwi oynl go rhnoretn iwll sayr,e and day tlikang het ndgnpsei tnha lkei omre to gretetho neo of iefl hdlo etn ealcidn nw,o yad one to lwil ahtt loko hrgit. Eh ym sbte idnerf wsa.