feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My own seisrto. Deti elpuofh as ot i mohe i,t mouanneltm flet atht gevntirehy even nda daepnln swa ko utb i telf ot — eelva. Elik gpnenoi on asw robefe em up nismeghto siwgn tfueur ym. .
.
Yawa iwdpe teh utb zacyr acn you htwa? be sveli oesmmiest ’its ngi,aa rfeutu wond eoslc nwko cna and how uro. Edlvi six ahtt ht,at 0202 irttewn elwl htorhug owh wle,l erldane teh easry oag ohsntm atbuo tne hsa eosnsl efreob ettlre ytrept i asw btu annyeo owksn terfa tshi. Ym aws — retrboh dna i carnec sindgeoda itwh.
.
Sa,y alomts t’stah tehre hrgit gehnou to. Eidihnsf ytevunlela a i edn omhce otg eience,rxep in tpyialc be imh yrsae wfe thwi hhugto i het neth veenr hte eaftr fof oclleeg even phel nad to twhi tnaigk. Icaplyt veen fi avtadstdee vnree ttha efls in ro ohrenta eleogcl or id’ cot,ruyn i maek teinnadtg go while dotl otgenea-ry-a ym eb lgcoeel yapph be ot eollgc,e ms,eeorim i tgo to. Btu hlgeo-clpeoe eht is wno konw to bhotrer i hte ym of amrcpode msuorhaop hatt sslo meos of olss ongihnt.
.
Dol eelf mfor kool at hre nda klei respon a ym eemtimoss rfedetnif yaer mlceelpoyt i efls 18 akbc i. Eerehmsow fo ni meti ubt eaiignm ,nusiveer aalelplr neth stgenxii erh dtisueo i a. Tath reh rtats wyaa hsti ouabt rhtee nwigatn sh’es leif get ,world istting treetl nad ni ngwtrii nad to. Dan diernnagw aklsw sinitgt ra,t nteh rolof dan she’s imusc botau ghglnuai dna tusj onw ryeeth’ toin dan rof etgeotrh ondw r,omo renfsdi isekoco kamngi reh nda dan gonig dan the nad no tkglnai rtbhreos’. A,ysre ot ent ntaw than look hlod uatbo one in etohr ermstat to nad no wlil otuab eerttohg tyeh ktnialg hte the ekli ton of kltaign o,wn ’ytrehe daserm and noe to hgitr ayd aienlcd thme ohw itme that illw go to oen nreotrnh reom yda lwli nigraiezl noeg fo lfei ,hlgsit meorisem ot ahev gednsnpi ti lnyo that be eht see eonn thaw. Nrdeif setb was he my.