feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Teorsis wno my. Adn ftel ttah ,it nadpeln ot i deit but saw ko i feuhlpo eftl eenv — ot ehigrnetvy eutonnmlam sa vleae mheo. Em ym gsinw innogpe hsoneigtm uftreu oeebfr ekli swa up no. .
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Waya acn i’st wepdi eth uoy ?awth adn ,iagan sevil wokn ocsle rou zcray uureft be nca wodn woh stmseimeo tbu. Eht 0202 sxi was i orefbe this erltet at,th oslesn eyrttp ubt eaenrld oubta ogtruhh iedlv owskn ewll freat aerys omthns wnttire nte htta oga ash woh ellw, onnyea. Nda my ihtw osiaedndg — swa cnerca i ohrtrbe.
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Oenugh ltaoms stta’h to ehter ays, itgrh. Ohthgu i mih ni nde a dna gkinta hemoc eth eevn eb veren off hiwt gto eeeixcn,per i ayitcpl to fetra phle hetn het few sindeihf aresy loceleg itwh tllenvayeu. Eb to erevn fi hoetnar vnee ro etigtdann el,ceogl lyctiap avdastdtee ecgloel oy,turcn phapy to or ’di eb og -atneoyr-aeg i oltd tog lefs wihle taht i my kame lecelgo s,eeoirmm ni. Obetrrh wnko tub oesm fo haousormp the si nwo i of ym ntgnoih aeprdmco slos sosl atht the to cllepeegooh-.
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My lkoo esietsmom a i klie erh old lleypcetmo and lfee i fesl fifdeentr ta fmor kcba repnos 18 ayre. Ethn erh tbu in isnu,veer uesotid wehseermo of ellrlapa temi nesigixt magneii a i. Life atht aawy trast rnwtgii to iths etg ttsinig and nda tuaob gnnaitw eterh her ni ldr,wo e’shs eetrlt. Nda nda no o,rmo nwo lroof oitn nnrgwadie adn ondw makgni nda hsse’ ugalhgin dan strob’her rhe rhyee’t hte wkals nerfisd for utoab ecsooik nad tneh nad jtsu ,rta oetrehgt csium igttsin igngo lntaikg dan. Will ot ow,n of remmesoi day eaiizglrn taubo teh gthir no teroh tne re’hyet ton htna hetm of the atth ilantgk lilw ermo hlist,g wath see kool lyon to will tehertgo dlho engo otnerhnr og neo to oen how pniesngd ot onne it one acldein asyre, hatt lfei rmdase to hte nda htey dna ayd buaot be liek ehav want imet in atmetsr ialtgnk. He saw my nfiedr bste.