Those 10 Years went FAST!

Peaceful right?

Hey Superhero! As I write this, you're about to turn 27 in a few days. According to my plan, by this age you should have been engaged to your best friend, editing Glamour Magazine and sipping colorful martinis at posh nightspots in Manhattan. None of that happened. I hope it never happened. That's not really who you are. You spent a long time trying to fit yourself into the box of what you thought you wanted, when really, that wouldn't have made you as happy as you liked to waste your time imagining it would. Now it's April 22, 2021. You're an energetic, accomplished 37 year old who dresses well, albeit a bit eccentrically, but not over the top. I hope you're writing. A lot. Way more than you were 10 years ago. You've published a book of poems, haven't you? I bet you're in the New Yorker all the time. You're probably a Pulitzer Prize winner or poet laureate of the world. I hope you're still riding your motorcycle (and that it's bigger and faster now and also that it's a personal spacecraft!). I hope you've traveled all over the world, writing, meeting people and experimenting with your life. Do we have a house in Spain? I hope we have a house in Spain. If we don't, get on that, please. I hope you finished your 30 Before 30, are nearly finished your 40 Before 40 and have written your 50 Before 50. I hope none of those lists repeated any items. I'm excited to see what you come up with and how 10 years has changed your perspective on life and what you want out of it. I hope you do nice things for other people every day. I hope Muldoon is still around. He'll be almost 12. Harley would be almost 19 now... I hope you know she loved you and that she never thought you failed her or yourself. It was silly to ever think that and I don't know why or how she got connected to all that pain, but she loved you in a way that was supernatural for animals to even feel. I hope you got over feeling like you disappointed her. You didn't. Ever. I hope it's been 9 years since you've even thought about him. And I'm sorry for making you think about him now. I bet Harley forgot all about him. He was never the man he led you believe he was and he certainly wasn't deserving of all that love and admiration you gave him. I hope he's happy with wherever he is in life, but I also hope you don't know whether he is or not because I hope you haven't spoken in... almost 12 years now. I hope you have no idea who I'm talking about! I hope you still play video games unapologetically and wear heels regularly. I hope you laugh all the time with friends new and old who nourish your life with love and culture and new ideas. It's probably as weird for you to imagine me, your old self, as it is for me to imagine you, myself a decade from now. I can't even see a month into the future! Anyway, stay awesome. Let go and take what life gives you. Take action to get what it doesn't. See you in another 10 years! Alison

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi Alison,

I was not expecting this today. You sure had a vision of our future! I'm happy to report that the best parts all came true. Not without pain...

Got you t!i a)nehdcg btu idd uoy wdenta adn srtlueg,g meso yeeigrnhtv hogtu(h ouy tpeririios. .
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Eilv tamtannha od ew ni. Lchoos evael vaeh heasdcr yrou giundr het nad nhew dna ttaeprman dsunti ot dvlei you hepso one masred rakmet suebeca had morf tosl ujst oyu skoblc rthea ot kbreo ew eluopc leeva in darg tyic psacuios - eparnttam yoru synun a otuhhgt teh uyo a ,oeogursg het hte you dna yuo had. You evrye 'im but dya rysor, tlosam knhit otaub mhi do tlsil. Gania nsokep to ltils ahne'tv imh uyo. Hitw aybb 'hes a won mdaerri. A eebn owudl twih olt ni yuo uuerft nwroed tath you ti ahwt liek haev ubtoa. Ot eth ouy hmi asrye pndse ewer tsla ahtt 01 thoyrw ytgrni ot ouy voepr. Erew aalwys yuo. Owngr evol udpor be oeemons ot ubato jnyruoe r,ewe utb eh acn ulyrt ttah ohw yuo no ouy erovp mhi bmecae uyo fo nda htgtohu. So ulodw oyu uordp so eb. Ear poudr so ouy. .
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Meor ouy olt a werti. Ockr nda wnte're a,obi(musit terdast ew wsal?y)a vnole a nda ubt ouy ehav a twier aorpe pyteor. Not ltsil 'ist ,ldpbiesuh a btu ety oagl. Toewr so ruag,olm uyo efibr usmobnssii orf a of rintmhaeg tub made uyo fro weitr co,en amou,lgr a uyo a sbuhipl il)canlcthey he(yt raecer idd doensdu ontcu that idd 'llwe ttah ikle rneve as. Ceth oanmcpy eianmrgkt sicotlngun taph a vreen rfo e'ouyr in on uyo sciloa asvimes deiam idex,tse igdanmei ni a wgiknro. Ovle ti yuo. Oepuvtspir nediyircbl wrckosero ruoy sratm aer nad. Dane,pimc rowk becsuae ntrampate twhi oryu to teoaivfr llac oyur uyo tge rnauaycst - epacl own - ouy fo ouyr mnldoou yb omrf eth hte eisd. .
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Si tlisl dunroa nludoom. Itsh he lilw be 12 bate eusmrm canecr dan. Na iebveel het 'esh ttesre lod 'tnca oeplpe amn on. Fro pyupp hte a gnyeer dnogeohoihbr the ash god nbgie lltsi eh nad atipshep ni pttnauerio. Apdses tsla ylhaer raey in mhacr. Yader was 18 she seh dan saw. Acst and oevl aifylm os ni muhc hte agve tdloivue eth lal herto she. Reh now glno hse abck cobslk eonc razyc hwti iton omev sreipmod erh vlide and msadeoy yrou d'yuo usjt uoy sadher yuo dan ot ormmatseo ti oen amke ync uyo eht hugoen mptatra,en to ees orfm. Cryza ts'i. Of teh god refta and gsborenih met ehr neo i pdsae,s lyrhea. . . Emdna yelhar. Saw uoy ullliff meosirp atht esh. .
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A( dols eth hte iebk ew ??tyci ni rycmoloetc on tsahnk!). Ni het weer' on ltlis kgiwonr psian cnood. If het hgue we ygu that sohcol ni riedma,r had lifb,eyr uoy atht tog ieebelv oyu hhig rucsh on can ot. Out clhacloio eb ni edlulp suoleyrf tuo ot of ssel na tnha eh neurdt abisuve yuo nda a eyra ahtt. Otn at pgikcni isenc hslrsipateoin dogo ye'uor lhhyeat suitnd yvre. Bnee hatt oyrue' vree voeuy' ehppria tsim!e tub egadneg ensigl way heetr onw, hnat ndam. Orve vhea in oriepstuvp cinebieldr rae a lal ywa ouy nnokw of na ohw y'ovue mrfo enrve urogp ndefirs. .
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Lats ni the ovuye' trwgoh tsuj olnodmu ismneem dha hlwie arey dan plceiselay ehingal, auriqtnnae, ni olsadeti ouy deep and. Ttelil nad wne cihtw,t aesmg tresam emt omre hgouhtr naiazgm even ti plya meht a no deirsfn you dna fliedneiyt oyu gindo oaisvru tsill eavh eoymn - ekam vedoi msage. Less oyu fo mero srsset thaw raf do noyej you dan. .
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Oemr a tcukbe adn 05 eavh 05; tsalmo sitl aevh ferebo a we 100 tanh nolg ggworni mtsie we. A 37 sda was ringtun nda gietixnc ltlite. Fro aer olok erov lilw like leif os tl,ef nca gbi liek trvwehea eb a ti us and rcdsa ni ti btu imyalf hte digon humc eikl yuo lnosmisete lal fo ti teh sndpe ltlite so sfeel t'osden you lslit rets a eestrh' het. Iihfns oobk htta. To og nsiap. Eht lal sennintotc isitv. Enbe nad gdoni atubo it uyo! ivinlg a clioas on yuo lgona watn midae lla llatlaypgioeoc acn od ytomicnmu uilbd ilfe pkee oyu oury vtwaereh 'veouy inbeg esuabce tetachuin full. .
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Haev rroset ltef otwn i us desh' eht we adn hswi cbak ldo yera rppaedt ihwle atht so 71 oudcl aubto ehs go feil sallm demrdea awy ehs eltl ni. .
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Uyo i veol. Ouy ma lrguteaf os i rfo. Uyo eavg up eevrn. Tkpe pghnuis uyo. Ilo,herrb olny to rae who shti toyrs vduseirv a uhoinse nda uesccss it owse mose you lherfse uoy. Igogn njoey eew'r do heer ngiog ew were' cmuh to nad trehevaw ssa ti uot, no so ot rofm kick. We eb ,nkid lliw teh nunecrtoe nad nifggvoir ,waysal of awy we sa nad hsteo pettani on. .
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,ovle.
Ila on)w w(e go yb lai.

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