lets think about your past and my future.

Dear FutureMe, this is You writing on 5th/March/2011, just wasting my time for exams that is about to start in 3 days. I just cant imagine where you are standing now, just after 6 months ahead of me. Of course anyone's future is not clear, but the funny thing is that I am not putting my effort for making my future stable. It is not that I dislike studying, but I just get distracted all the time by YouTube, Facebook, Wikipedia,2ch and Yahoo! Answers despite the fact that I find soo many things in my life that I want to master as a hobby or if possible to the level of people called professionals such as Syogi, Go, Ice-skating, Tennis, Piano, Photography, Snowboard, Singing, Literature, Diabolo etc. I am yet 20 years old but am already convinced that I do not have time for doing all of this and yet I just waste my time by surfing on the Internet,, I know watching the Fountain of Trivia or Gaki no Tsukai is soo much entertaining to you, but how can I not act with a long-termed perspective and polish the efficiency of how to spend time? This is my everyday question, kinda. Last time I futured myself was right before I got back with my ex. That is the reason why I felt my past was already someone else when I reread the letter. The girl who I chased soo much, cried for and thought of is now someone else than those in my life.. I really feel sorry for her, I made her serious without me knowing clearly what and who I want in my life. Anyways there is not a single thing that I can do to her other than not talking to her and yet not ignoring, since anything will ruin her to grow and be independent. I do hope this extend of change will take place when you read this, although I guess that if I do not start something from now it is not going to be so. About a person who you like right now reading this, I reeally wonder who.. Well at this moment, I still like K, after the Valentainz day me slipping a love letter into her locker and receiving an answer of am not interested in any guys who are interested in me. I thought I was moving on, after the week that I did not talk to her. But just one text from her made me realize that I was wrong, asking me how was my break going. She did not answer to my reply, well-disorganized, I would say. And you?, but that did not matter much. The fact that she sent me a text was something to think, yet thinking why, but I guess I have to take it to the compromise that it is something that guys never understand. At this moment, I am not certain that she can be the only one in my life or not, but since I have such common interests with her, it is very possible that is what I think, what about you smartass? :- I hope you continue with your old habit of praying before the dinner despite your cultural identity of atheist. Even if you start believing God, I would not be surprised. It is easy to guess from my character of tending to believe easily such as Nose-walker and UFO and the fact that I crushed on K. Anyways it is such an important action in anyonez life, both from religiously and psychologically, so Sla upp pa dig! I really hope your Swedish is much better than this. At this moment, I no longer am feeling my development of the language in me, something is different than before. Probably I do not talk to my father much lately or priest and I get less opportunity to talk to my teacher as well, and I am not requiring those opportunities which seems most serious. Ok, just telling you my hopes does not help much, I am going to read the article about Santa Klara church on the newspaper after this. You ice-skating gave you an opportunity to talk to people more than before right? :- It is good since Sweden is not your country and thus you do not have many acquaintances. I guess you can do the Inavour and show-off jumping by now lol About your studies, it is upto me, am I right? Like someone said, I lack disciplines and habit of studying in a systematized order and step-by-step according to its relevance to the core idea. That I am sure I can do something about it, yet not knowing how it is going to be. It is also same to my money spending habit, buying so many snacks and not being able to pay the rent. The priestz wife was soo mad at me, remember? :- I really wish that you can remember things by reading this and find it funny, feeling how lazy you were. I wish you a good will and you wish me the same :- Haha, sincerely Mee