Hi. It's you a year ago.

hey. i am you. well, you a year ago... how are you? i'm not so good. do you remember how it was a year ago? i'm sad. everything makes me sad. i can't understand why. it changes everyday. i want a girl to love. someone that i love so much that it erases all the sadness. atleast i think that's why i'm sad. have you found anyone yet? if so, thank God right now because he has answered your prayer. if not, don't worry. even if you are unhappy all of your life, it doesn't matter. there's a light up ahead. you'll eventually be with Jesus in complete happiness in heaven. but anyways we are watching Pearl Harbor in american history. i almost cryed in the middle of class and i did cry when i got home. i want to love someone like he does in the movie. i think i have something inside of me that triggers emotion when i think about the old days. i don't know what it was about that movie (or the 1940's itself) but it makes me so nostalgic, sad, and happy all at the same time. i'm crying as i write this, actually. i'm hoping to one day grow out of this sadness but i don't see that day coming anytime soon. until then, i'm gonna continue to stay with God. everyday i will pray and ask him for guidance. can't go wrong with that. as you look back, you may think of yourself as being silly or immature. but i hope you never forget what these months were like and maybe someday you will help out some other kid who has the same problems as you had. it's hard to wake up and face the day every morning but i manage. it seems like the only true friend that i have right now is Jesus. i have others but they are not the kind of people i need right now. and i don't know what kind of people i need. Jesus is really all i need anyway. i'm so different than everyone else. atleast it seems that way. maybe it's an adolescant thing. i have no clue what i'm saying really. i'm just rambling. there is a song that makes me feel good even if it's for just a little while. this is it. hope you haven't forgotten it. Light Up Ahead by Further Seems Forever take this heart of darkness i give it up all the emptiness I.... you fill it up the times that i feel nothing you bring enough so i can live for something you lift me up and all these bad dreams i wake up to light and when i can't see i wake up to your eyes wake me up there's a light up ahead there's a light up ahead there's a light up ahead there's a light up ahead it gets so complicated if you live enough turn into what you hated you're breaking up the times i feel like nothing you bring enough so i can live for something you lift me up and all these bad dreams i wake up to light and when i can't see i wake up to your eyes wake me up there's a light up ahead i think that's about all i have to say. with all of this said i pray and ask the Lord right now that he would fill the emptiness I feel inside and give me peace of mind again. never forget these times, future me. they will be used for good somewhere down the road.