You're 50

Dear FutureMe, You're 50. 50! Dear god. I didn't think you'd make it to 40, much less 50. So, well done. If you're 50, that means Em is 53, so you're still winning. It also means that Milly is 20 and Daisy is 18. Serves you right for waiting so long to have kids - I bet you're exhausted (and poor). If you find you're unable to walk up the stairs without a rest, that's my fault for all the smoking. I really am trying to give up. Hey, maybe I'll have ****** you, in which case you won't need to worry about the stairs (or this email, for that matter). I'm in Vienna at the moment at the Icom Triennial conference. I very much hope that these words will mean nothing to you, and that you will have left this job and gone on to make millions (or hundreds of thousands at least). Sitting here, I don't know which way things are going to go, so if they ever invent 'Past Me', drop me a line, and let me know. Anyway, that's about it. Happy Birthday, congratulations and I hope that rash has cleared up. Lots of love, Past You