A letter from Jan 24, 2025

Dear FutureMe, it is finally day 30 now. My daily affirmation: I am calm and peaceful. I am strong and capable. Everything is temporary. I am patient. I live in the here and now. I am content and grateful for what I have. Nothing bothers me. Today I will focus on shifting my pattern of: Procrastinating my life away. And overthinking. I am grateful for: For the ability to spend my time at a coffee place, drinking matcha latte and working on my tablet. I am privileged because of my dad's hardwork. I am grateful for my dad. I'm grateful for this beautiful music that I'm currently listening to (Fine Line instrumental by Kappa Boy) and grateful for music in general. I'm grateful for all my childhood memories, trips and adventures, both that would be deemed of as "positive" or "negative" as they have shaped me and brought me to where I am now. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn, grow and improve. To try and fail and then try again. I'm grateful for my mom and her love and care. I'm grateful for my furry pals: Sneeze, Milkis and Lucky. I'm grateful for my grandma and her hardwork and resilience and care. I'm grateful for Boni even though I don't really feel a connection with her anymore. I'm grateful for my grandparents and their acceptance and raw genuine nature. I'm grateful for my baba for reminding me how special and loved I am. I am grateful for Puma and how much stronger and happier she makes my mom to be. I'm grateful for Gytė for being so sweet and thoughtful and caring. I'm grateful for Justė for teaching me a lesson of patience and acceptance and for being nice (which I know deep down she is). I'm grateful for my friends and for all the people that were once in my life. And I'm grateful for being alive. The person I am becoming will experience more: Gratitude, love, joy, patience, clarity, wisdom, connectedness, purity, abundance and spirituality. I have an opportunity to be my future self today when I: Pause and appreciate whatever is happening to me/in my life, express gratitude, engage in the present moment, accept everything and expect nothing. When I think about who I am becoming I feel: Reassured, hopeful, glad, inspired, peaceful. I am currently at Taste Map coffee shop in Čiurlionio street, listening to music and writing this letter (obviously). I didn't feel like sitting at home today so I went out to get some of my tasks done (I learned some German previously and then applied for a dormitory room, still need to respond to some messages and find some peaceful alone time for myself as well). Got a message from Marija, she invited me to go ice skating together with Greta tomorrow morning. We haven't seen each other for a long time and I've been feeling kinda blue lately, so it's pretty exciting although I am also feeling slightly nervous as I find socialising to often give me a hard time. I'll need to wake up really early tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it, but also, maybe it's a sign to change my lifestyle, beginning with earlier times to wake up? I felt like I had so much to say before I started typing this personal part under the daily future self journaling. I took it quite literally and sent those letters out to my future self, which is cool but not the smartest idea for habit tracking, plus I chose absolutely random days (not even in order) for my futureme letters to be delivered. It's part of my experimental project, I guess. I think I'll give paper diary a try instead of futureme for the future self journaling. I will also try to get back to here more often than I used to and keep this habit of letters going to the future active. I've sent a reasonable amount of letters already and was forced to become premium as I couldn't send any more without being a member and I wasn't done yet, so I've got no choice but to continue writing on futureme for the premium to pay off lol! And I can also attach files and photos now which I'll absolutely do! I had this strong burst of emotions and thoughts but I feel quite disassociated and empty now. Life is weird and everything around me feels surreal. I don't know which steps to take further to find my path, to find my place, to find myself. I'm lost. I have this feeling I will, eventually, find my way out of this dark forest. I will make it to the light and will become merged with it. For now I just need to stay present and be a present. I need to focus on the current moment, which is all we really have. Any moment we are alive is a "current" moment that lasts forever. Just the seasoning of thoughts, feelings, emotions change and the sprinkles of events differ, but the moment remains. "Accept everything and expect nothing". Just let yourself be, be here and now. Once the friction of expectations, likes and dislikes and taking things and yourself too seriously dissolves, you become one with the flow. You just are the way you are. You accept yourself and things the way they really are. You're joyful and grateful. You're finally alive. You don't just exist anymore, you begin to truly live. I'm out of ideas what to write anymore, I'll take some time for myself now, but I decided to get this letter delivered on my/your birthday as I deemed it beautiful. Happy Birthday! Thanks for putting in the effort and moving forward no matter how tough it gets at times. I wish you to form a strong bond with your true self and appreciate life and it's gifts, lessons and moments for what they are. I'm trying to attach a picture to this but I find it so awkward taking a selfie in public. I think you can sense the awkwardness lol. Take care and keep rolling. The movie doesn't end just yet. Love, Light and Peace, sev