A letter from Jan 04, 2025

Dear Future Me, 30 years old Shila. Amazing huh? Are you even still alive at this moment? If you do, then we heck rocking it baby. Now to the serious part. Jan 4th, 2025. 1540 hours. I am writing this right after my drama and chaotic panic self of wanting to end my own life. Which then cause me a realization of how much my now husband, (hopefully we're married to this guy) loves me. He ran straight after my last message and came to my apartment. Worried I'll be doing something stupid and he'll lose me forever. It was raining, and lightning and thunder and yes he was drenched. But when I saw his face, it's just a blank face. He never showed his worries. Just hugged me tight and never want to let go. I was so mad at him thinking he didn't even attempt to call, but he said he did. A lot of time, just that he thought I blocked his numbers. Well I didn't. I just shut down the phone to calm myself down. Oh well, stupid technology. Anyway.. from that moment on, I realized he is the one. No one else is crazy enough to go through the rain and thunder just to make sure I was fine. The most they'll do is call me. Or call somebody they know that can get to me. I guess the main point is.. That man, loves you. And no matter what state you're on at this point of life, I just wish you to do one thing. Love him as much as you could. Never, ever let him be alone in whatever position of life he's been through in. He was scared to lose you, so please, take care of him. HE IS THE ONE, STUPID. Not some "perhaps" or "maybe" crushes of yours! They didn't even bother to read, reply, or even ask how you do in your life. But this man, right here, has always been taking care of you ever since you guys were just friends. He loves you deeply. Enough testing his love. You need to sort out your feelings. And btw, if you by chance, are pregnant at this time, congratulations 🎉 darling. It's the blessing and one of the things that you could do to prove your love to him. I will always wish you the best for your future. May you and your family always be this strong and together no matter what comes in between. Love your man, lady. He's everything. This is a note from your old self at 29 years old. The last 20s of your life. What can I say, it's been a journey from hell to heaven back and forth, but we made it this far. I love you, my dear self. Be kind to yourself. If... There's any possibilities that someone you love died before you read this, I am giving you my condolences. We need to keep strong and move forward. If it's him, the husband, then know one thing for sure. He did love you with all his heart. Don't ever regret anything about him. It's not your fault. With that, I just wish everything is still fine with your life. Your sweet husband by your side, your child to be is there, waiting for the days to see his/her parents.. and InsyaAllah.. more brighter future for you. And your small family. Remember, I was here so you don't have to take the burden as much. You can rest now. I love you. Shila from 2025, 29 years old. To Shila in 2026, 30 years old.