Life of Dedication (Dec 30, 2024)

Dear FutureMe, On the 28th, I was faced with a stern warning. After wasting the day glued to screens, I decided to go on YouTube and watch Christian content to (guiltily) "make up" for the wasted day. (Btw, I quickly realized the danger of thinking this way). The first video on my recommended was titled, "Ten Virgins Parable" and it was posted by a channel called "The Rising". This video shared the parable of the 10 virgins and concluded that many Christians aren't prepared. The sister in the video spoke in such a way that literally brought fear and to be honest, panic in my heart. It wasn't that she was shouting or fear-mongering, but it was the fact that the examples of unpreparedness resonated almost exactly with the current temptations and distractions I was dealing with. When the 5 prepared virgins were compared to the 5 unprepared virgins, in detail, I was able to see that I was among the unprepared. I told myself in that moment that I would rid myself of the distractions I was letting push me away from God. I felt so much sorrow, yet so much hope. I was so glad that the Lord even warned me and that He allowed me to truly hear. The timing of everything was perfect. I was tired and quiet, it was late at night, and God used that time to be loud and clear, speaking through this woman. Over the past 3 years, God has been urging me to truly deny my worldly desires. First, worldly friendships, then secular music, then certain books, then unmodest clothing, and most recently (in the past year), social media. It's been tough because the summer before high school, I had planned all these things I was gonna do. I even rebelled against God when I told myself I wasn't gonna go to a school dance and still ended up going. This was when I was trying to give up secular music. Going to the dance only made it more difficult. It made me hold on a bit more because I saw how many songs I didn't know and I wanted to learn them. All for the approval of others and to possibly make new friends. Yes, I've been separating myself from the world, but there is still so much more work to be done. I've recently been feeling like I need to stop wearing makeup because I'm wearing it for the wrong reason. It's out of me not liking how I look. The way to heal isn't by covering myself up, but by seeking what God thinks of me instead of what the world has conditioned me to think of myself. You may be wondering, "All this preparation and separation for what?" For a closer relationship with God. I've been putting all these worldly worries above Him and it's a problem. When things get dark and everything I have is gone, those things aren't going to be there for me. But God will. I constantly think of the hymn "O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go", it's my favourite song. The first verse of the song goes, "I give Thee back the life I owe". This reminds me that after being born-again, it's no longer my life to live for myself. I've already lived for myself and it was clearly a mistake because I ran to be saved. Now it's time to live for God. I know it will be hard, but with the joy I have now (only 2 days into this new pattern of living), I've decided to write to myself 6 months from now. School would have ended, my difficult semester for this school year will be completed and I can finally reflect on how I've done. I know I'm only 16, but I truly believe that God can and will equip me to go out and publicly serve Him. I'm pushing away the title of being "an introvert" because I will be bold the way the Lord intended all of His followers to be. It was only halfway into writing this that I decided I wanted this letter to be public. I want it to help those reading, to share just how good God is. To show others it's worth living for Him. I'm marking a milestone and hope that in the New Year, I will live a life devoted like never before. May all of you readers experience God's love and accept His free gift of grace. :)