A letter from Dec 29, 2024

Hey, future me. I’m in my room right now, smoking some weed, took a little shrooms, and I figured I’d write a letter to myself. It’s been a long time coming, especially this year. 2024 has been nothing but lessons—too **** many, honestly. The first part of the year was wild. Hard college classes, losing Mom, friendship drama, and still having to work through it all. It’s been work on top of work, and I’m just tired. Over it. Then summer came, and I worked two jobs: one as a server and the other as a barista (which I liked, but they didn’t schedule me enough). I found peace in nature, though, and dropped my first EP called “The **** It EP.” It’s five tracks, and it’s already gotten over 250 streams and nine hours of listening time. I’m proud of that. I released it in May after finishing school—kind of like a school project that turned into something more. This semester, though? It’s been the hardest yet. I feel overworked, and I hate my job. It doesn’t align with me, or the people, or anything, really. I want to evolve because, lowkey, I hate myself sometimes. Maybe I just want to escape. I still write poems, though. I’ve gained 1,000 followers on some writing apps, which is cool, but I’ve been debating if I should even go to music school. Right now, I’m taking three classes and working part-time, but next semester, I only have one left—unless I can appeal my grade in supply chain. If that doesn’t work, I’ll walk in spring and officially get my diploma in the fall, which sucks and feels unfair, but that’s life, I guess. I’m trying to evolve in other ways, too. I want to work two jobs, dye my hair platinum blonde, and finally get my braces off. I’m also planning to finish up with Invisalign to get my teeth perfect. I feel like once the braces are gone, I’ll finally look and feel like a full-fledged adult. But I’m scared, too. I’ll miss being a kid, you know? Anyway, I’m hustling to pay off nearly $6,000 of debt and save $5,000 for a summer trip to Europe with Grandma. I want to take her to make her happy and remind her of her younger days with family. I have big plans for 2026. I want to go to music production school for at least a year to get certified. If I can swing it financially, maybe even get an associate’s degree. I’m going to take professional singing lessons and guitar lessons, at least 2-3 times a week. I’ll also read more—literature, poetry, anything to inspire me—and take writing classes to grow creatively. I’m giving myself a year to dive fully into making art, like Lady Gaga did (even though her dad paid for it). I want to pack five years of growth into one. I know I can do it, but I’ll have to watch out for burnout. On top of all that, I want to become more spiritual, read books that educate and challenge me, and stop getting distracted by TV, TikTok, porn, drugs, and all the other things that mess with my head. I want to feel normal and like myself again. This year has taught me so much: how to treat others, how to treat myself when no one’s watching, how I give my body to people (especially in relationships), and how to build better connections with my family and myself. It’s all a work in progress, something I’ll figure out one day at a time. Anyway, that’s my rant, my thoughts, and my hopes for the future. I want to spend more time with family and friends, travel, and gain more life experience. Take care of yourself, okay? — Me ( also rewritten and summarized with ChatGPT)