A letter from Dec 28, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I'm devastated. Why does it feel like nothing ever works out for me. I thought things for once were going well and i tried to prevent this from ever happening. Each time i think it cant get worse it does, and i feel so helpless. I told ray about how sick all of this has got me feeling, yet he never seems to actually care, although im always there for him. I mean, i did end up leaving him, but what else was i supposed to do with a boyfriend who i needed to beg to spend time with, while now that its over he has no problem with spending it with other girls. I'm not saying its entirely his fault, i've had my wrong doings, yet i always acknowledge them and try to make it right, and even when i try to, he shuts me down because he doesn't like talking abt the past. I've literally tried everything i could and i feel so exhausted. I did so much for him to actually pay some attention to me. Like what was this for? What am i supposed to get out of this other then trauma, and why does this keep on happening. Why am i too much for people. I truly don't get why i am this way. Its not like i don't like myself, cuz i absolutely do love every part of my personality, but so many others don't. Why is it always, that if i show too much of myself i scare them away.