A letter from Dec 15, 2024

Dear FutureMe, hi big sis. well its like one night before my multivar exam. idk if ill get an A in that course. its fully possible tho. like idk man what r u up to rn r u applying to college or at least preparing to. scary. did you get an A lmapo its prolly unlikely but yeah still a sliver of possibility ig. please please please still be motivated to do all those many honors courses and please still be good and confident and i dont know if youre still lonely but please just be awesome i guess. im excited because me being in this program is literally such an awesome opportunity for me to conduct research for free and get experience as much as i want to with a mentor. like, why would i pass it up by only doing like barely 5 courses??? im gonna try and do one for as many as i can and i want it to be so much fun and awesome so please please please still be good and studying and i know u can do it and yes i want to. not be bad i want to be good and have you figured out your career yet? six months later when you read this are you still gonna think that a current me calling the future me 'big sis' is something frickin cringe and weird? i mean maybe you know my frontal lobe will develop by a tiny fraction. i am also starting to realize that maybe telling my friends, or the people i consider my best friends, every single thought and epiphany i have is probably not the best curse of action and is kind of tiring and weird just letting every single thought in your head just be someone elses and its kind of just. be on your own just letting someone in all the time is bound to get kind of exhausting and weird. just chill and i guess i dont know my life hasnt rlly changed all that much and its been a year. which is a long time. maybe its astrologically neccesarry for me to not have a really violent ad crazy life so rn everything is just quiet im making like a few new ppl but like i dont think things are gonna get too crazy here. you still like the same guy or no? i mean youve either convinced yourself to move on or he's *** or youve gotten yourself rejected in the most horrific way possible repeating history i guess so like yeah. i sont know. this year should be different and repeating history is lame as **** and i know that i am breaking free and have strongly broken free of any karmic cycles that might have held me back all these years and i am repeating nothing, everything is peace and stable and changes as it should and so like yeah. no more history. please let everything be new, and fresh, please. please let everything feel like a spring from charlotte's web and dew and geese and the smell of soil and dirt but also a really good wooden book library and please just. i dont know man. A lol ig83ur9bhe-w0=9-0kjujeqroig5ghnreqoughqeroij0vgfewhdojnevubwodcchasinpcxzljscipanklqichpnsehojn i bet **** hasnt changed a tiny bit lol and when i read this im gonna laugh cause everytime i expect things to change and i beliebe then they never rlly do and maybe they were gonna change but i wrote this and so now i reverse jinxed it again and i hate it because i jinx everything so yeah **** it goodbye!