A letter from Jul 27, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Hello I’m feeling sick and sad.I hate my life ,myself, my family, my friends.Nobody I think really deeply cares about me.I get so upset so sad that most of the times I want to die,just to find a bit of peace or just to not exist anymore.I feel like people love me only when I do things for them,and I know what you’re thinking, love yourself.I’m trying, I’m trying to love myself but I just can’t not enough.Every time I’m feeling happy about something or exited it just gets ruined, every time.I try to have patients, but enough is enough.Today I couldn’t sleep most of the nights I can’t.I just can’t do it.It was 5am and I got outside to look at the sunrise and then my mom saw me and asked if I had slept during the night ,and like an honest person I am I said no,I can’t sleep.And she start saying hurtful things, she does it every time she gets mad and then regrets it and apologize later,but doing this every single day.Putting stress on me every single day does not help me and surly an apology isn’t enough.Cause when you understand your mastake you learn from it but she clearly doesn’t.A beautiful moment that i was trying to experience was completely ruined.I got my nails done by my friend some weeks ago but mostly of the nail fell out and today I glued them back and I got happy looking at them.And then mom came in my room, trying to hurt me clearly and they all fell again.And I just start crying cause I try to be a happy and positive person every day but I get nothing but disappointed all the time by the people I love the most and it hurts it hurts a lot.And I think no one truly understands me and it makes me feel so lonely.I only wish for peace but I get is hell.I don’t understand why, all I do is help everyone, mostly of the time I don’t even care about my problems, but enough is enough.I can’t take it anymore.I’m sorry for the long long letter but I had to get it out of my chest.I hope at least your living better and are happier, remember no one loves you more than yourself, don’t trust anyone but yourself and expect the worst out of everyone, never fully trust anyone but yourself, I talk from experience.Bye bye