A letter from Jul 11, 2024

Dear FutureMe, you just saw a TikTok of people doing this so you thought why not?? You're currently 18 and I am not going to lie - life is not the best right now. BUT Future Me, I hope things changed. As of right now, you lost many many friends. Some you didn't think you would ever lose. But, it's NOT your fault. Those girls choose to behave the way they did. You know how people say there is always a duo in trio? Well, you learned the hard way that it's true. It made you feel betrayed, dirty, unworthy of love. I feel like noone talks about how it feels being a girl and going through girlhood without any real, genuine female friendships. I hope that older me has those. I hope you have your girls that genuinely make you happy, make you laugh. I hope you have your girls to share secrets with and gossip. I hope you have your girls to help you and for you to help them. I hope you have your girls for deep late night talks, future plans, goals. I hope you have your people. I hope they love you just the way you love. When it comes to boys, I surely hope you have better luck then now. You have only loved one boy your entire life. When you guys broke up and started talking again after 3 years, you were the happiest. BUT I wish you didn't reach out. I wish you kept on going, forgetting him completely. He ****** up again. Completely ghosted you. No warning, no explanation. I hope you are over him by now. I hope you fell in love or at least gave other boys a chance, cause I know how scared of relationships you are. I hope you will meet someone who is worthy of your love and who will love you just the way you are. The comforting kind of love. The soft love you've only ever read about. But even if you don't meet someone like that, don't let it get to you. You're doing just fine on your own. Now, let's talk school, college, plans, future. In september, you are starting your final year of high school. And then, it's all done. No more classmates, no more cheating on tests, no more laughing at that one student because they said a joke, no more seeing your favourite teachers, no more school trips etc. I will miss those things, those moments when high school felt normal and kind of fun? But, I will not miss fake people, teachers who ruin students goals and constant drama. You'd think that people in high school are all mature and grown up, but really, we're all just a bunch of kids. You're thinking about college. Medicine. You never ever thought you would have the grades for that or the will, but look at you now. You have straight A's, you are an excellent student and you enjoy studying. I hope you got into the college you wanted. But if you didn't, it's still fine. It just means you are meant for something else - and that's completely okay. And if you got in, go girl! Chase that diploma and follow your dreams. Don't let them slip away now that you finally got them. And finally, I hope you learned how to love yourself. DON'T be hard on yourself. This is your first time living. Whatever is bothering you, dear Future Me, is not that important. Everything will fall into place. Take it easy. After all, no matter how old you are, you will always be a little kid deep inside. You managed to get this far, be proud! I hope life turned out for you the way you imagined. You deserve it. More than anyone I know. That's it, I guess. Hopefully, you get to read me next year. Until then...live. Live your life like there is no tomorrow. Take chances, travel, meet new people, read more books, try everything!! We only have this life. So... bye bye!! -L