A letter from Jun 27, 2024

Dear FutureMe, next year this time you'll be right before your graduation. Right now this seems unbelievable. Friends a year above you graduate this weekend - you'll be singing in the choir on stage, silently cheering them on. Next year I will walk over that stage. Hopefully. Its an eerie feeling. School consumes or, as the summer holiday is about to begin, has consumed an ungodly amount of my time. Cutting pleasant activities short, school is what I have lived for. Getting good grades, getting somehow validated in my being via good grades. I write good grades, I will change this world because school tells me I can survive in this system we call life and a welfare country - therefore I am validated to live. What will be after school? Right now I am thinking about studying law. A few months ago I considered photojournalism. Before that pure journalism. Will that change? Will I feel confident and sure about my choice, regardless what it'll be? I am not delusional. The time until graduation will be hard. I will face struggle and I will face struggle afterwards. I am not doing good mentally right now, and what I have written above is only a tid bit of the ******** my head tortures me with. But I will walk over that stage, and I will walk in faith, because HE will not let me down. - you, 27th of Juni, 2024