A letter from Jun 20, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I felt the urge to talk to someone but I don't have anyone to talk to, so this is me spreding all my problems on myself again. I'm not sure if I can carrying on. I feel so tired all the time. It's been almost 2 years since I finished school and still don't know what to do. 6 months ago I quit my first job. It was a nightmare. I like to work, but I kept making mistakes cause it was my first time and it felt like I was a weight to the people who worked there, they wouldn't talk to me, so I felt worse until it was too much that I couldn't take it so I ran. Now I don't want to make the same mistake and get a job which I haven't learned even the basic first but the thing is that I'm not sure want I want to learn. I feel like I'm a weight to my parents too. They never said anything, but I'm almost 20 and got absolutly nothing. They pay for everything and I'm not brave enough to get a job and help just because it will make me sad. So I try helping at home, cleaning the house, cooking... but it seems to never be good enough. One of my sisters aparently sees me as a loser or something, she's cool, but she also knows that I'm lost, without any friends. The other one probably hates me, and I get it. She always complais about how I never play with her and says bad things about me for the intire day. I try to take care of them but I don't have strenght to a lot of things. And then it comes me. I wish I loved me more, I know it means I already do but it is not enough. Im sure I must ask for help but I don't want to. These days I feel bad about my belly I think it is becoming an obcession but it looks so ugly. I feel ugly, I want to change my face, my hair, my body, every single thing. I don't know what to do. I hope taht you do.