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Dear FutureMe,
Hey, how have you been? Let me give you some updates. So, right now I'm currently enjoying summer break. I plan on going to pickleball for four hours a day; three days a week. Christian Miller will be helping me and whoever else is interested in prepping for the ACT every Sunday from 3:30 PM to 7:30 PM. And of course, I'll go to tennis practice whenever Coach calls for it.
Other than that, I'll recap you on my Sophomore year. This year was...really eventful. It went by super quick. My tenth grade year involved a lot of people, mostly at the beginning. I started off the year with a big friend group, a huge table to sit with at lunch, and people to hang out with beyond school grounds.
I even caught the interest of four boys this year; Evan, Christopher, Franklin, Mohammad, and Kevin (in chronological order). Three of them I had a crush on, but only one did I have genuine feelings for—and even came to love: Mohammad. He liked me first, and even when I told him I didn’t want to pursue anything further between us because I was confused on how I felt for him, he chose to wait until I had a clear answer. Mohammad fell first, but I fell harder. I think we were seeing each other from November 28th to January 20th. So, almost two months. The night that things were basically over, he told me he loved me—and I said it back. Mohammad was my first love, and I don’t regret the time I spent with him. After things ended between us, we tried to become friends for three months. But, two people who love each other like that simply can’t be just friends. Such an idea is a fantasy only one can dream of. Eventually, I ended up blocking him because when he told me he moved on, he framed it in such a way that sounded passive aggressive: “I moved on, sorry you didn’t.”
Anyways, I don’t know why I chose to write about him first when I didn’t even like him first. I think Mohammad was just the one I had the most to write about haha.
But the first guy I ever liked in 10th grade was Franklin Lam. I had a very intimate dream revolving around him and I, and from the moment I woke up it was like I had a crush on him. But no matter what, I did not know how to act around the guy. It was so stressful and nerve-wrecking to speak to him in person. Franklin was an interesting guy, he love-bombed me with compliments for a week. And then he told me, “Oh well I thought you didn’t like me back so I found someone else,” which just led me to ponder that if he truly liked me he wouldn’t just move on that quick. Anyways, I’m actually extremely embarrassed that I even dreamt of him to begin with. He’s not very cute to me now that I look back. I’m pretty sure I continued liking him for that week because I simply just admired the idea of liking a guy.
I lost feelings for Franklin though because Mohammad came along.
And then the third and last guy I had a crush on this year was Kevin Rousell. I realized I sorta caught interest for him a week before school was about to end. I don’t know why I liked him. I began thinking of him a lot after we had a conversation on Snapchat because I was like, “Wait I know this guy, let me add him on here since we’re mutuals on Instagram.” And after realizing I liked him (I guess???) I was like, “What do I even like about this dude,” and I couldn’t think of a god**** thing. I mean he’s 5’10, athletic, strong, smart, nice, and attractive, but there was nothing about him that was pulling me in. I think the day after school ended I told him I lost interest, and he was chill about it. He continued texting me and whatnot. But at some point he stopped and I was like, “**** who took my man?” Because SUE ME I liked the attention. Turns out he found a new girl to talk to 🤪 boy was my ego hurt. Still kinda is lolz, but I’m trying to detach myself. I know I will forget about him eventually.
Moving on, I also lost a ton of friends this year. High school drama. It happens. It actually hurt a lot and I did cry about it on several occasions. But it taught me to find solace in being alone. And it also taught me how much I hated feeling lonely. I don’t wanna say names because I don’t want to make those people relevant enough to type down in my letter.
I started off the year with really bad grades because I was in the Philippines for the whole month of August. But I brought them up to all A’s and B’s by the beginning of the second semester! And then they dropped down again, but then I brought them up by the end of the year :)) ended the year with two A’s and two B’s. A’s in English AP/DE and Creative Writing, and B’s in AP Psychology and Geometry. I also got most improved player on the tennis team and a 2-year plaque 😁😁 super happy about the “most improved” because that was the award I wanted in my Freshman year haha.
My acne really improved thanks to the Dermatologist! She prescribed me Tretinoin and that helped me MAJORLY. Literally a life saver.
I thought I was going to the Philippines for a year, but nope not anymore. Hello APUSH and AP Lit. Can’t wait. 😜
Some things I learned this year:
Hey, how have you been? Let me give you some updates. So, right now I'm currently enjoying summer break. I plan on going to pickleball for four hours a day; three days a week. Christian Miller will be helping me and whoever else is interested in prepping for the ACT every Sunday from 3:30 PM to 7:30 PM. And of course, I'll go to tennis practice whenever Coach calls for it.
Other than that, I'll recap you on my Sophomore year. This year was...really eventful. It went by super quick. My tenth grade year involved a lot of people, mostly at the beginning. I started off the year with a big friend group, a huge table to sit with at lunch, and people to hang out with beyond school grounds.
I even caught the interest of four boys this year; Evan, Christopher, Franklin, Mohammad, and Kevin (in chronological order). Three of them I had a crush on, but only one did I have genuine feelings for—and even came to love: Mohammad. He liked me first, and even when I told him I didn’t want to pursue anything further between us because I was confused on how I felt for him, he chose to wait until I had a clear answer. Mohammad fell first, but I fell harder. I think we were seeing each other from November 28th to January 20th. So, almost two months. The night that things were basically over, he told me he loved me—and I said it back. Mohammad was my first love, and I don’t regret the time I spent with him. After things ended between us, we tried to become friends for three months. But, two people who love each other like that simply can’t be just friends. Such an idea is a fantasy only one can dream of. Eventually, I ended up blocking him because when he told me he moved on, he framed it in such a way that sounded passive aggressive: “I moved on, sorry you didn’t.”
Anyways, I don’t know why I chose to write about him first when I didn’t even like him first. I think Mohammad was just the one I had the most to write about haha.
But the first guy I ever liked in 10th grade was Franklin Lam. I had a very intimate dream revolving around him and I, and from the moment I woke up it was like I had a crush on him. But no matter what, I did not know how to act around the guy. It was so stressful and nerve-wrecking to speak to him in person. Franklin was an interesting guy, he love-bombed me with compliments for a week. And then he told me, “Oh well I thought you didn’t like me back so I found someone else,” which just led me to ponder that if he truly liked me he wouldn’t just move on that quick. Anyways, I’m actually extremely embarrassed that I even dreamt of him to begin with. He’s not very cute to me now that I look back. I’m pretty sure I continued liking him for that week because I simply just admired the idea of liking a guy.
I lost feelings for Franklin though because Mohammad came along.
And then the third and last guy I had a crush on this year was Kevin Rousell. I realized I sorta caught interest for him a week before school was about to end. I don’t know why I liked him. I began thinking of him a lot after we had a conversation on Snapchat because I was like, “Wait I know this guy, let me add him on here since we’re mutuals on Instagram.” And after realizing I liked him (I guess???) I was like, “What do I even like about this dude,” and I couldn’t think of a god**** thing. I mean he’s 5’10, athletic, strong, smart, nice, and attractive, but there was nothing about him that was pulling me in. I think the day after school ended I told him I lost interest, and he was chill about it. He continued texting me and whatnot. But at some point he stopped and I was like, “**** who took my man?” Because SUE ME I liked the attention. Turns out he found a new girl to talk to 🤪 boy was my ego hurt. Still kinda is lolz, but I’m trying to detach myself. I know I will forget about him eventually.
Moving on, I also lost a ton of friends this year. High school drama. It happens. It actually hurt a lot and I did cry about it on several occasions. But it taught me to find solace in being alone. And it also taught me how much I hated feeling lonely. I don’t wanna say names because I don’t want to make those people relevant enough to type down in my letter.
I started off the year with really bad grades because I was in the Philippines for the whole month of August. But I brought them up to all A’s and B’s by the beginning of the second semester! And then they dropped down again, but then I brought them up by the end of the year :)) ended the year with two A’s and two B’s. A’s in English AP/DE and Creative Writing, and B’s in AP Psychology and Geometry. I also got most improved player on the tennis team and a 2-year plaque 😁😁 super happy about the “most improved” because that was the award I wanted in my Freshman year haha.
My acne really improved thanks to the Dermatologist! She prescribed me Tretinoin and that helped me MAJORLY. Literally a life saver.
I thought I was going to the Philippines for a year, but nope not anymore. Hello APUSH and AP Lit. Can’t wait. 😜
Some things I learned this year:
- Life doesn’t end when the person you love doesn’t choose you.
- It always works out in the end, so if it hasn’t work out, then it’s not the end.
- Acknowledge how you feel, but don’t sit in your feelings. Distract yourself through self development.
- Spend your time and energy liking YOURSELF.
- Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. So literally just do whatever the **** you want queen.
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