A letter from Jun 09, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Hello my beautiful self, I am rhegelynnn your 23 yrs old self I wrote this letter on June 9 exactly 12:52am , This will serve as a reminder for you kapag nakita mo na to kung gaano na kalayo ang narating mo, It may not that big but I claimed it already and guarantee you na I will work hard from now till then para maabot ang pangarap natin, But now I want to tell you how much I am struggling right now. Ang hirap emotionally, ang sakit sa puso , pero kinakaya ko at kakayanin ko , I hope when you received this your are very okay and well taken cared of. I will work hard and will pray so hard to God, So that may future self, Ikaw ay masaya at nasa maayos na estado. I am typing this letter why crying , lalo na ang puso ko umiiyak siya hindi ko alam kung anong pwede kong gamot para mabilis na maghilom ang sakit. I am okay naman but there are so many intsnaces like this lalo na pag mag isa nalang ako naiisip ko lahat ng sakit na dinulot sakin, dahil lang sa nagmahal ako. But I want to remind you that You are Loved, you are beautiful and you have God. As much as I want Jaydiel to be our last, I can't, I have to be firm this time sa desisyon ko, It's for youuu, I still love him very much, pero di ko kayang paulit niyang gawin yun dahil lang sa mahal ko siya. Love isn't like that? Love is patient and Kind not someone na iiwan ka dahil sa di kana maunawaan without doing anything to save the relationship. I don't want you to suffer the same thing over and over again. This is the hardest thing that is breaking my heart everyday, dahil I have to remove this love to save youuu, His not good for me and for you kahit mahal na mahal ko siya. God knows how much want to begged for him to comeback and I know I can do that, but I will not do it. And I have to be strong now kasi para handa ako para kung sakaling magbiro ang tadhana at ibalik ulit siya makakatanggi na ako makakaiwas na ako. I need to do this,Dahil hindi ito ang pangarap ko na pagmamahal. God knows how much love I can give, And I don't want someone na pababayaan ako. I deserve love that is patient and kind a love that last, pagmamahal na di nawawala lalo na sa mga pagsubok, pagmmahal na puro at totoo, someone who will love every inch of me kahit yung pinakapangit na parte ng pagkatao ko, at isang lalaking hindi ako pababayaan masaktan, malungkot at mag isa. someone who will respect me and someone who loves God. So I am enduring this pain ,for youu to be a strong woman and to be someone na makatagpo ng Pagmamahal na hinanhangad ng puso ko. I will endure this pain for youuu , Pleaseee be okay, Mahal ka ng mga magulang mo ang swerte mo sakanila , sa mga kapatid mo, kaya love them unconditionally and bumawe ka okay?, mahal ka din ng mga kaibigan mo maraming nagmamahal sayo,. I love you self . I am genuinely praying today na once nabasa mo na to you are happy,blessed and na achieved mo na ang ilan sa pangarap natin okay. Choose a right man, Ask from God always ask God in every decision na gagawin mo. always trust God's will okay? if it is for you will know it immediately. Ask guidance to God. for now I will heal myself I will do everything and with the help of God's grace I will be okay, Everything you ask , ask in the name of Jesus. WE ARE LOVE BY GOD. I love rhegeeeelynnn take care of yourself. LOVE, RHEGELYN ( YOUR OLD SELF)