A letter from Apr 22, 2024

hi future me. i hope u got into an engineering college by the time u receive this. im taking a pretty big risk rn bcs i want to see u happy and settled in ur 20s. i wish i was a little closer to my dad so i wouldnt have to worry abt attempting neet to please him. im scared that he wont understand me. he might but i dont wanna provoke and lose the opportunity / freedom i have rn. he'll prolly get paranoid that i was brainwashed or did he become a normal human? idk. i have decided that ill prepare for both subjects and if its humanly possible, then slay both of them. god should know what im feeling rn and im sure he has the best plan for me. i really dont wanna see myself struggling to pay my taxes, eating off of my parents money, not being able to have a social and family life in my late 20s. i wanna have a love life a nice family and an income so that i can spend it. i wanna have my personal and professional life separated rather than dedicating my life to save other lives. id lose myself and my family in the process. i had so much on mind today. i wished i had atleast one person who would support me thru the process of evolving into an adult. this age of 17 is such a hard age bcs im getting tested spiritually and then im being tested in this competitive cruel world of medicine. anyways i hope u have it better in ur present.