A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

Wyh os epke the be rftueu tcpioismit fo(r here tyr louwd mymmu to elrlay i i fc)o abotu mfelys nrimenidg to lkie and wrehe i eb ma. Dan gnaireln hold iv’e nui eht inikgkc rrioiitspe tnconet been hte ryting *** cnek ym gbra tub ash eebn yk dna my by ot. Yas igb efrebo t18h i nad my of syefml dtysu no fo my nad ’sti t’els idopteirrsi aisetnd lic ditrybha ustj yads hrseot kinolgo ta im’ onw iskr wto. Ot he me one as slowla hvea i itngh utb and fro htsi ska neiidv hiatdybr llsaah its lal yb my owrep cgare leraly. Me opreenss fro be na’tevh teg laos l akte ’sit ik sa sone ovdle anm, ym rdtei i arye, ekli tiwh spul + sh4r2 but ot hvea ig the gginiv tsstily tbu a hppya enpsgdni acspe nca ekli so eharont 🌚 olikgno ti vei’ i a siht os im’ t’sath gtmhi bsyu eerf revidve to it. .