A letter from Mar 21, 2024

Dear FutureMe, (Song: Are You Bored Yet - Wallows) idk this came to me as I was writing this 🤷‍♀️ ((Also it's 1am and I have uni tmrw so I should be sleeping...😝)) Anyways... 18 year old me here! I have been thinking about writing this letter for some time now because being 18 is no joke! I have thought a lot about what I want to include in this letter and have spent some time deciding how to word it. (I say this but watch me talk informally and waffle) (Disclaimer ⚠️: Prepare a box of tissues or a vomit bag...Contents: soppy!!) Growing up the thought of reaching that milestone age of 18 was exciting and thrilling. The idea that I would finally be legally recognised as an adult; independent; mature; and would have achieved great things was so compelling I couldn't wait!! But looking at life now it's completely different to how I would imagine it. Not necessarily in a bad way tho... It's just that, sure people see me as an adult now but do I want that when I could be childish and blame my foolishness on my immaturity? Sure I'm independent but do I miss having an extra backbone of support? Sure I have achieved new accomplishments but do I miss not having to worry about prestige and reputation? The answer is yes. I miss it so much. I miss highschool; I miss the stupid jokes; the draining but entertaining classes; the mid *** school lunches; the break times; the games. I miss getting told off by the teacher for talking and giggling so much over absolute nonsense. I miss the times when I was stressed out over stupid mini assignments in maths and my biggest concern was getting my h/w in on time. I miss my childhood. It was a very happy one and I am grateful. Now that I am 18 I feel the effects of being 'old'. I know that I can't ever relive my childhood but I also do not want to say goodbye to it either. It's small things that make me realise I am slowly drifting away from my youth. A couple of weeks ago I subconsciously went to ask a kid "if he remembers me bc I held him in my arms when he was a baby.'.... like wtf I'm literally becoming like those old aunties that no one knows...HELP 💀💀 Also yesterday I caught up with some of my old high school friends...It had been four years since I last spoke to them...FOUR YEARS! It was nice seeing their familiar faces and reminiscing about the good old days. If they knew I wrote this about them they would probably bully me to ***** but they have all matured and grown up to be amazing people and I'm so proud of them. I know 18 is not even that old but it's more the fact that I am slowly losing my adolescent years. Although my friend reassured me today by saying how "we may feel old but compared to others we are just a baby" she's prolly right but... ...tbh I dont know if I am actually ready for the 'big world' that awaits me because it all seems to be crashing in way too hard and way too quickly. Well, there's nothing I can do but leave it to the hands of God who shall direct me the right way. Jeremiah 29:11 PEOPLE AMENNNN 🙏❤️ But for now I'm going to keep being silly and stupid and let my inner child be happy! <3 So my question to you future me right now is Have you let go of the past yet? Do you feel old yet? (to those reading this I'm sorry u had to read that but my advice to you is don't rush to grow up, take your time and enjoy it...you will never know how much fun it was until it's gone soooo keep doing you! your inner child is rooting for u!! I am also rooting for you!! ) Love, 18 year old me