Soltitute

Dear FutureMe, Hi, this is me(you) here and the date is July 19,2006 the major news event here are the mumbai stuff which happened some days back. Mom and dad have gone to Kannur and bro is outside am like alone and the time is 10:22 pm. Just wanted to tell you that today I became aware of many of the harsh stuff of life things that I was trying to ignore all this while. This lonliness is killing me its driving me mad. This time it can come with anotehr enemy of mine "professional dissatisfaction." From the days of wanting to be a doc to an army officer to joining isro, all i have got are failures. I have been throughly washed and drained of energy and now I feel that with every passign year, my dreams are turning into nightmares and I dont have a shoukder to cry on. Am as alone as a sailor on a canoe in the middle of the pacific lost and facing a thunderstorm all alone. The tragedy is that now I realise that all my dreams were never meant to be..they were just images on a televison screen that kept changing after every failure and withe very broken dream I used to pull myself togetehr and move on to another one now i realise that lifes all about failures. Happiness is that small tiny drop of water that accidentlly falls on a parched dry earth when a guy carrying a pail of water stumbles..otherwise life is a deseart that could give sahara an inferiority complex. theres nothing to look out for buddy its just a bed of thorns a vast emptyness where theres none to look after you.