A letter from Jul 07, 2023

Dear FutureMe, heyyy...errrrr...i was supposed to write this like more than a week ago but now you get even more life details!!!! high school graduation was so underwhelming and borrinnggggg, but before i even left the school premises i was granted a surprise. not too pleasant, but a bit nice. sweet if you may. a letter delivered by kush from no other than jonny...ex bf of literally two months...it was a bit unbelievable considering he sent the fair share of goodbye texts, but i guess this was his last hoorah (as stated in said letter "his final farewell"). i don't mean to be bashing him but the fact that anyone could actually like me this much was quite absurd to me (cue fear of intimacy and commitment). anyways, the letter was sickeningly sweet, so much so that i was sobbing on a bus filled with underclassmen i don't know. i was mostly quite...probably...errrr idk. but i literally got tears on the letter. how poetic. and as much as i could say that moved me to actually reach out...it didnt. im sorry im such a horrible person but i didn't feel like our relationship or connection ran that deep. he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, but somehow it felt like a blip in time. i can hardly remember things except for the lingering awkwardness that i got when i saw him in the hallway after i first broke up with him. it didn't feel real to me and not in the magical fantastical way, just in the oh **** that happened?! i forgot. well he definitely doesn't need me and my moping. i genuinely hope amazing things happen for him (mr valedictorian) and he finds someone that feels the same way for him. i hope i didn't cause any actual damage besides the permanent name change (johnny to jonny) and the month of bleach blonde hair (from his normal jet black). now that i've taken a break and ate my pineapple jelly (it squirted on me :( !), on to actual graduation. i finished bedazzling my cap at the last minute (literally 30 minutes before i had to be at graduation) and subsequently had to do all my makeup while waiting for graduation to start. wonderful. very reflective of my high school years. as i stood on the stage i became so antsy. so ready for it to finally be over. and also very conscious of how i was sitting...i was in the first row! its reasonable! i didn't want people to see my underwear okay. so estella and i crossed our ankles (shout out to ms mckay for engraining that in us). when jonny's speech finally came i found myself smiling...it definitely wasn't the best but there were funny moments and i was just genuinely proud (cue myself accidentally clapping way too enthusiastically). for a moment i got a bit paranoid that he might make a reference to me or anything us related ( because of some dumb tiktok i saw). lol talk about self absorbed. anyways he didn't (thankful). but he did reference lists that the grade made (mostly referring to the incident list) but brian seemed to be set on the idea that he was also referencing the list of eligible bachelors estella and i made because he knew about it and was talking about it at an eli hangout...lol. for project graduation we went on a boat. it was lowkey boring. the food was sorta bad but there was good pasta. it was really scenic when you went up on the top floor and it was misty. we saw the statue of liberty and i was a bit giddy. the mist got me a bit moist but it wasn't pouring rain so i was fine. there was no real dancing, but i did get a caricature and took photos in a photobooth. thats all for now bye bye