A letter from Jun 04, 2023

Dear A, Hey it’s me. Your 22 years old self. Sunday morning 10 AM. I’m bored. Alone in my room, I haven’t going out since Friday. On the outside it was sunny and warm, after 2 days of heavy rain and wind. But, I have nobody to go out with. I want to go on a date, getting ready for 3 hours and feeling pretty, wear cute outfits, have fun conversations, go to museum, go to the park, have picnic, go window shopping, eat some delicious food, go to zoo, go to see the sea, go to bookstore, or at least working on thesis at the cafe with someone in front of me. I want to feel that spark, that excitements, that butterfly in my stomach feeling. But of course, I felt that months ago and I’m missing it. But since few months ago, all of that are gone. I used to look forward to sunny weekends. But now, I cries. I hate going out alone. Seeing happy couples, holding hands, laughing, etc. Unfortunately that’s how life is. People leave you. You ended up alone again. Back to square one. The difference is you’re back to square one with pain in your heart.