A letter from Jan 16, 2023

Dear FutureMe, hey!! it's me, you, from 2023. the year just started. mum had her surgery. trin is about to start prep!! i'm about to start grade 10, which is crazy to me. you're in grade 12, how does that feel? i start learning to drive this year, and i'm sure you remember how god**** excited i am. it's a big year honestly, i get my little sister, learn to drive, pick my ATAR subjects (rn i'm thinking literature, math methods (term 4 grade 9 i got an A+ in math and i'm so proud, did we keep it up?), study of religion, french, music and biology). do we still wanna do speech pathology? emmie started dating ashton, and she's already going on holidays with him. does it last?? also, do you remember the **** grabbing incident!? annie 'broke' up with simon a few months ago too. ok, who did we take to semi? and formal (has that happened yet?). are we dating anyone? right now i'm considering myself as bi, but there's the eternal struggle of "am I only crushing on girls because i only ever see girls, and if i saw men i'd like them too? or is it because i'm a lesbian? ANYWAY, screw labels. 2023 obsessions: - ana cayse (lunar_ec1ipse) - maya hawke 🤤 - guitar - small classes (tell me about music, who stayed?) - robin buckley (omg stranger things ended for you, was it good?! byler?) - my camera - jeff buckley - ava ryan's instagram - letterboxd my closest friends at the moment would be emmie, alex, annie, prue and zj (how's SHE doing? anything with nathan? anything with me 😏😏). how's grade 12 doing? i'm so excited to be independent. for uni, for everything. to be out. did dad end up building the house in the garage? and do you remember the cottage we're obsessed with (531 mt crosby rd bb)? anyway, i can't wait for independence. for my parents to not have to drive me everywhere. to be able to just drive around at night. to DO things. to buy my own ******* groceries which sounds so mundane, but to have that much control over my life is my dream. ARGH I can't wait to grow up. at the same time, things are moving incredibly fast. you must understand that. i feel like my teenage years are slipping away and i'm not living. I guess that's where my yearning for independence comes from. every coming of age film has kids my age out living their lives and falling in love and discovering themselves and i just, i don't seem to be doing that. somehow all the coming of age characters i used to think were *so* old, are now 15 and 16 like me. my age. also, i love stu sm, i can't imagine not going there anymore. but I really don't have that much time left. on the other hand, i can't wait for uni! it's this constant push-pull of wanting change and to grow up or wanting everything to stay right as it is right now. well that got deep. sorry. did we get a job?? I have $2139 dollars in the bank right now. did we do peter alexander? and please tell me we kept up with flute and s&d. did annie? did she drop out? still not do ATAR? go to kshs? is she doing mostly music? have we got over the jealousy of that yet? also, PI!! literally two days ago i got the news i'm in curtain call (senior). are the shows good? are we still doing it? amber and bridge and sarah and luce didn't get in. so it's senior with liv, josh, gen, tessa, riley, annie, jas and i. show reveal is in two weeks and i cannot wait!! I don't think there's much else i can talk about. so farewell. love you, 2023 me