A letter from Nov 03, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're hot, ****, rich and happy by the time this letter reaches you. That's all we want, baby!! I don't know where or how to start. I have a million things to talk about. A bazillion thoughts running around in my mind. What has become of my life? I used to be brilliant. The smartest person in the room, always lively and cheerful, so full of energy and ever-ready to interact with people for hours together and never get exhausted. And then there's me now - doubting my worth and ability every single day, always feeling like I'm not good enough or smart enough or talented enough or beautiful enough, isolating myself every chance I get, struggling to make connections with people and just feeling miserable most of the time. I used to be the center of attention in school. So was I in college. But for all the wrong reasons and in ways I never even imagined. I started off college thinking I'm going to make amazing friends and memories here, I'm going to have the time of my life. But life took a 360 degree turn. All 4 years of BTech were absolute hell. I was constantly bullied and harassed and objectified and **********. Nobody spoke to me in class. I was a loner who used to have her lunch in the corner of the classroom all alone and cry at lunch every single day looking at others have fun with their friend groups. Worst part - NOBODY knew. NOBODY even noticed. What did I do to deserve such treatment? What have I ever done to anyone in my life that I had to go through all of that? I didn't have a single friend to support me. I felt like everybody secretly either hated me or was jealous of me. Nobody treated me well. Except for 5 of my friends who weren't in my college and spoke very rarely cos everyone has their own life and problems. I hated going to college. Thank God for those 2 years of COVID. At least I didn't have to interact with those ********. But after that, even the thought of going to college gave me anxiety. I hated it. Every single moment of it. As if fighting these battles wasn't enough, I also got diagnosed with PCOS. That was a war in itself. I hated myself and my life. But somehow.. by God's grace I ended up getting this amazing job at MS and in the location I've always wanted. I have escaped hell and this is my chance to re-invent myself and turn into someone who makes heads turn. And I also wanna show those bullying ******* from college their place. I DID NOT deserve to be treated like that. And even though it affected me in the worst way possible, I will NOT let it consume and I will get out of my misery for sure. Today I have decided to finally take control of my health and be consistent this time. I signed up for the MS Stepathon and I hope that's gonna serve as my motivation to work towards getting fitter and better. I have lived with PCOS long enough, I have suffered enough. From the day I was officially diagnosed, to being on the pill, losing hair, gaining weight no matter what I did, losing self-confidence, degrading myself every single day for being fat, not feeling my best self, having anxiety attacks and what not. I want to put an end to this suffering. I have suffered and struggled all my life. NOT ANYMORE!! All I want by the time I receive this letter is - 1) Become fitter and reduce my PCOS symptoms 2) Be super independent financially and be a boos ***** 3) Be close to the ones I love and live a happy life Love, V