A letter from Jul 27, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Okay letter 2 hahaha. 7.27.2022 1:01 am. Watching Netflix. Fairly odd parents. I’m going to send this to the future by 3 years. By then it’ll have been 3 years and 11 days since finding your brother in the living room floor on that fateful day. Now again, how are you? Really? Don’t lie haha, I know you will. But genuinely how are you? How is sister and dad doing? Are they okay? Now are y’all living in Austin? I hope y’all are way better over there! ( me saying this as 7.27.2022 me) I miss the old me before he died.. I miss her kinda.. I’m pretty sure I will still be lazy in 3 years. Were you able to take some time and process what had happened and what you had seen? It’s crazy because the same thing could have happened when your inter tried to commit in 2016. But thank you Jesus she didn’t. I’m so glad she is still here. I know her bf died in February 2022, how is she ? It’ll be 3 years for her to. I hope she is well as well. I hope you are still alive and doing well. I’m so sorry still that you had to see that, and find him the way that you did. Please I still hope you are NOT blaming your self still about what happened that day. It was not your fault. ( finna get drunk one night and get a tattoo of that so you can always remember that hahaha jkjk) my back is ******* me im typing this on the ipad. I hope Bonita and monkey are doing wonderful. It’s not you fault please know that!! I wanna die, do we still wanna die in 3 years tho? Wait you will almost 26 when this letter gets delivered, let’s we are still alive then to read this. I hope you are okay. We can get through this. One day at a time.. exactly what I had told him 4 days before he died. He was so relieved when I told him “ one day at a time” he said it was exactly what he needed to hear. He said he loved me, about 2-3 before I think. I can barely remember his voice now. I can still hear his breath and feel his warm chest as I was doing cpr on him that day. I wanna hear his voice again. I wanna hear my brother say he loves me and I wanna tell him I still love him to. He was my little brother, my baby brother. I’m so heartbroken. I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m so so tired. But I will try to at least stay alive for 3-5 years to see what happens… I hope this letter finds you well, I’m sorry if I made future me cry in front of ppl or whatever, sorry ahahah.. lots of love and well wishes to you in 3 years. 🤍🤍🤍❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I hope you are still alive and doing well, I know you will.. see you soon c…