A letter from July 15th, 2022

Dear Miah, It’s you. I just got home from dropping you off. You, me and tajanae went to Dutch bros, had that scary dark ride back. And when I finally took you home I asked you if you’ve ever felt that feeling, when you liked someone so much it hurt. And I hope I played it off telling you about ‘her’ but you’re not stupid so maybe you figured it out and just played along to not hurt me. Still if you didn’t it was you, you are her, you are the girl who turned my life upside down. The one I feel like my heart gets crushed every time you don’t talk to me because I begin to think you dislike me. The only girl to have ever made me question myself. Idk when you’ll read this, I’m sending it to you, but it won’t be set to arrive for many years, who knows if we’ll even be friends anymore, if you’ll even remember tonight. But honestly you’ve made me feel things I never dreamed of feeling, and it’s scary and confusing, but I don’t know how to not get jealous over you and how to not feel warmth when I know you’ll be around. And honestly it all began when you sent me that picture, that you drew of us, from the Pinterest template, you and me holding hands. I remember how my chest fluttered when I received that from you it was something so special. And from then on I began to trip over myself trying to find out what was going on. You made me feel safe, and I felt like my truest self with you, regardless of how embarrassing I never felt ashamed to share any of my weird obsessions with you. I hope you enjoy you have me way more buzzed up than any guy ever has. It’s gonna hurt, it hurts right now being at home after our conversation, because I know for sure know you’ll never see me that way. But ****, it’s gonna be a ***** getting over you. Here’s to you being my first and probably last ever girl love.