A letter from July 5th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hey. i’m not even sure really what to write here. i think really in all honesty i’m just going to ramble because i wish i had something profound or relevant to say but i really don’t. I want to be able to tell you all the things i wish you had or have changed by now, but honestly i don’t know. The future is terrifying to me and i’m just constantly ignoring it. i guess really i just need you to still be alive. It’s difficult given the current situation but just keep going? please? Are you still with Ben? i really ******* hope so. he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you and you’re ******* stupid if he’s gone. Well, no, because i can’t predict the future and things might have gone **** up, but, if you’re still going, keep telling him how much you love him. let him hug you even when it feels like you want to hide away and shut everyone out, because i promise you it always makes it better. Even when your skin feels like it’s on fire and you’re crying and you can’t breathe, just let him hold you. he’ll always let you hug him and it will never not help. Don’t be stupid and push away the one person you love more than anything. please don’t do that to yourself. Really, overall i just hope you’re getting better, taking your meds and eating enough food and just everything else, everything that right now feels like the hardest thing. I hope you’re finding the peace in the good things and learning to cope with the things that hurt like ****. You’re strong enough and i’ll always believe in you really. I know how strong you are. I know how much you’ve been through and I know over it all, you can get through it. Just keep going. You’ve got this. Past you :)