A letter from June 30th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hope you are in a better place with good loving people around you and you are doing great, cause I'm not doing great at all ..i mean sometimes I'm all happy and positive and in the next moment I'm back to a sad, confused, lonely state. I know that not getting into top universities is not the end of life and there's much more to life but **** idk what the hell is happening to me ..these ******* stupid feelings are ******* me. Sometimes I just think I'm born to disappoint everyone..I let everyone down in everything..i didn't clear any entrances and to make it worse I'm freakin *** ..and no one ******* knows and i don't think that I'm ever gonna tell this **** to my family coz i know it'll be another disappoint to them. Look i know it's not that big of a deal and i should not be worrying this much about it but that is the freakin problem that I can't i just can't stop feeling this I'm trying but it comes back .. some or the other person just brings it up ..they don't get it all this **** happening to me. Idk what it is but whatever i do however I do how much hardwork i put it just isn't enough i fail everyone all the time. I don't care what others think but it ***** me to get **** from my own family. But i promise I'll never do anything to harm myself.. I'll never give up and I'll try and reach out to my friends if it gets too overwhelming cause i know i may have been unlucky with everything else but i have some great friends who are and will always be there for me. Hope you are doing better than this and taking care of yourself. Just know that God is always with you lookin after you and they'll guide you. Please stay in touch with your best friends always. I love you ❤️ PS. I hope you found someone to love too and if not just know that there's someone great out there who'll love you with all her heart and whom you can give all your love you are waiting to give. PPS. If you've found her just let her know how much you love her. I'm writing this letter to let you know how far you've come and how much you've grown. Promise me to write another letter when you read this. I'll always love you baby Take care