A letter from Jun 15, 2022

Dear Future J, I wrote this letter in a quiet afternoon of June 15, 2022 at 5:55 o'clock. I have a bunch of thoughts with me at this very moment. But I can't spill everything at once. Let's take it slowly just like how I process everything, just like how I let things sink in everyday. Everything seems blurry, you're distracted again, you're struggling. But I know you're not giving up and you will choose to live. I hope you're doing fine now, you're happy and having the best year of your life. This year probably you're working and trying to fulfill your plans and goals. And after a long time of having war with your own thoughts I hope and pray that finally you're starting to build your own life now, living alone and exploring the beauty of life and of course yourself. Adulthood is never gonna be as simple as you wish for but at least you're trying, you choose to continue your life despite all the hardships, breakdowns, doubts and everything. Too many years of wanting to end your own lives, but look at you. You're still here, you choose to be here and you're wanting to be here and that's more than enough. Thank you for staying after all the heartbreaks and life problems, you stayed. You're turning 25 this year hooray to that. Remember everything that happened to you these past years and look at yourself now, you've changed a lot. You're growing everyday and that's what matters now. The growth, improvement and changes you've wanting for so long it's happening sissy, it's finally happening. Embrace and cherish every moment you have because that will help you go on with your life. You might be in love with someone right now or not. But I want you to know that years ago you prayed not to be with someone ever again. Because you're hurt, you're scared and having trust issues. However, you could still offer so much and you are so loving that you end up caring with people in your life regardless of what actions they did. I'm glad that I got the chance to witness what happen to yourself. Love and choose yourself every effin' time, it's mandatory love! I wish you learned your lesson now after all those ****** things happened to you. And I wish you've already worked out those bad sides you have. And continuously becoming the right and better person for yourself and someone you value. And of course, I pray that finally that someone who's with you right now (if ever you have) is that he treats you right and his giving more than what you deserve. After all these years, all I want is for you to be happy, for you to achieve what you deserve and what you're working on. At this time I wish you're having the peace of mind and heart your longing for a very long time. Continue what you're doing and push it giiiirl, push it!! You're doing great, I am so so so so much proud of you right now. I gotchu love!!!! <3 <3 Sincerely loving you, Jmbj.