A letter from Jun 14, 2022

Dear FutureMe, hellooooo self!! u’re close to eighteen!! I hope you’re happy and blessed. Please choose the right path, it’s always the hardest but I know you can do it! I am curious after 3 years, gusto ko pa rin kaya maging doctor? kasi ngayon nagugulohan ako. 10 years.. 10 years pa akong mag-aaral kung tutuparin ko ang pangarap ko, kakayanin ba? hahahahah I don’t think so. I didn’t even see myself go to college because of this fcking anxiety, I can’t face people anymore. It’s getting harder everyday. Am I still alive after 3 years? healthy and stable? right now 2022, I am sure I’m not healthy. I hope after 3 years I would be. stable? like financially? I am sure as hell we’re struggling financially right now. I hope after 3 years we’re able buy things we want and need. I really hope. nagbago na kaya ugali ng mother ko? sana nga. hindi naman ako pagod mabuhay eh, pagod lang ako sakanya. I’m tired understanding her. nagagalit ako sakanya lagi pero she’s still my mother, kaya nagpatawad ulit ako hanggang sa naging cycle ko na ‘yon. I hate her. this is all for now. I’m out of words.