A letter from May 27th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, 1. hows are the parents? everything ok with mom? 2. you still living at home? 3. things still good with 'J?' dont let him go. he's your best friend and you really need him. let him in. trust him. even though its hard 4. Are you still with 'C'? I know you guys had a rough patch, but i hope you sorted it out. you two were really good together, and you really loved them 5. hows the mental health? are you off prozac? how high did your prescription get? 6. did you ever end up learning guitar? 7. Are you still pursuing psychiatry? did you have to take chemistry :/ 8. hows gender identity treating you? 9. did you stay at linden? did it get any better? 10. what jobs have you had? i know you got rejected for this summer :/ which sucks, but what have you done since? 11. how are the brothers? did 'M' go back to uni? 12. what courses are you taking rn? 13. did the doc finally get around to giving you adhd meds? 14. are you seeing a new psychologist? 15. are you happy? i know that the whole lesbian van with 'C' thing was just a silly dream, but i still really really hope it happens its a really hard time rn and im not doing so great but hey, if youre reading this, ive made it!!!!!! im really proud of you youve been through so much heres 15 things i want to have done before you read this 1. move! out! 2. watch 'J' graduate 3. get over anxiety and ACTUALLY KISS 'C' FOR GODS SAKE 4. learn to love myself 5. get off medication if possible 6. make some new friends.. maybe.. hopefully.. 7. get a cat 8. learn guitar 9. boost my calculus mark 10. finish all of stiefvaters books 11. finish poetry book 12. write a few more songs for 'J' and 'C' (dont be nervous to share your music with them! theyre super supportive) 13. make it to a year with 'C' (right now we're at 5 months <6) 14. make a month sh free (at 1 day right now... but we'll get there... hopefully) 15. end toxic friendships ('JW' and 'GJ', maybe 'EB' if things haven't gotten better) you are beautiful im proud of you even if no one else is <3000