A letter from May 21st, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Life has not been good lately. I doubt myself so much and I cringe with however I am. I don't think I could ever enjoy myself fully. It's so sad and disheartening to feel like this. I think to myself that I am not every good thing I think of myself but rather an awful pretender. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel and yet I feel so so awful and I want to puke with the thought of myself. I feel like the people around me are disgusted with my existence and they are irritated over me. I feel so awful. Why am I this way? Why am I myself? I feel like I'm faking everything. I feel so fake. I want to delete my existence in this world. I don't want to exist anymore. I wish I could just disappear. I ******* hate the way I am.