A letter from May 16th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, What's up bestie? I'm currently sitting in my bed, hitting the vape that owen just bought me partially to make me feel better for the third man in a row leading me on. I made him pay for half of it as reparations for when he did the same thing last semester. This time it really was just about ***. I'm still a little pissed about that. He doesn't know the difference between spelling clique and cliche though so I guess I dodged a bullet. I'm happy right now. Like really truly happy. Honestly happier than I've been in a few weeks at least. I am destroying my lungs literally every possible way but it's okay. This year has really been a lot. A year ago I was still hooking up with Raymond. I was in highschool, completely unable to picture my future because I just couldn't really care about it. I can not imagine what life will be like at the end of the summer let alone when I graduate. It's kinda crazy how I just never once considered what college would be like. I thought about it obviously but never really tried to imagine it. I hope you're happy. I'm sure you're sad. I really really do hope you're still at Conn. Obviously situations change and if you're not I understand and I know you made the right decision for us but right now it feels so important to me to stay all four years at the same college. To finally go through the normal progression. I also hope you're in a relationship. But then again maybe I don't because that would seriously complicate graduation. Do you still have the same friends? Knowing you I'm guessing you don't, at least not entirely. I currently have a crippling 2048 addiction. A little over 24hrs ago I saw Neil with his ex girlfriend. I was really sad at first and then I learned how intentional his flirting was and then I was really mad and now I think I've accepted it. He sent me a ****** apology and I didn't respond. It sucks and it sucks that this is the third time but it really does get easier. What are your plans? Did you finally find a major you like? Is it SOC? I can not believe that I still have three more years of this but at the same time i can't believe I only have three more years. I know it'll go by fast and I can't imagine the layers of memories you must have for each place. Do we still talk to Sonja? I really really hope we do because she's gotten us through a lot. I can't believe I'm about to say goodbye to Knowlton 111. I can't imagine living anywhere else but I'm sure our next three rooms will feel just as much like home and will have just as many memories. You made it girl, you made it all the way through college and highschool and all that came before. I love you so much as I have so much hope for our future. Text mom and dad. Tell them about the letter and say you love them a lot. I know it was hard but they do so much for us and they had to say good bye before they were ready. Don't forget what a gift they gave you in being willing to let you go early. Just like always I can not picture the future. I don't even really want to try. I know things will work out. It's like what Lily said about the quesadilla that one day (text her too). I do all these things that don't seem like they should work out at all but for some reason they do. I love you bestie, good luck with graduation and the real adult world. I hope you're happy and know that no matter what, it's us. It will work out. Back to hitting my cancer stick (you'd better not also have one!) All my love, T