A letter from May 12th, 2022

Dear Future Mansi, Hi Mansi, I'm the Mansi from your past. I hope you doing good mentally and physically (especially mentally tbh). It is 12th May, 2022 today when I'm writing this email to you. I am in the KIIT Hostel, doing M.Sc, and completing our SOPs. You would have completed M.Sc. already and hope that you might be in a better place than this. TBH its not that bad here, people are good, the environment is good, BBSR as a city is great. But I don't find very much attachment here except Shambhavi and Srijanya. They are my college besties. I hope you are still in contact with them. Things have been rough lately. I am suffering from acute anxiety which hails from my fear of not being academically good, not being the very best in class as I used to be in Amity, and staying away from home which was my comfort zone. Things were different back then. Sometimes I feel great, sometimes I don't. I don't even know if things which happened last month were even justified and genuine. Did I fake it or was it real? People do say that it is quite normal to experience homesickness but inspite of staying away from home previously, I don't know why am I experiencing it now. Maybe due to the lockdown, staying at home for 2 years. It was great btw. I have always loved my family and keep loving it no matter what. I know you do too, we're the same I guess. My home and my family are my comfort zone, and my go to place for peace. I'll be anywhere in the world someday and whenever I get a chance to come back home, I'll come running. As a family we got closer, maybe that's why I feel homesickness even more. Even now when I am writing this to you, there are tears in my eyes and I'm emotional because I know how my I love them, and how much they love me. I know you're crying too. Don't cry, Badi mummy says, "Himmat rakh". Its getting too emotional for both of us I know, so switching the topic. All I know is that there are people with me, always having my back. Namely - Fam jam, Disha, ******* Aprajita, Vkas Pooja, and a new addition Shambhavi. Remember to check up on all of them. They love you. I am just hoping that I get into a good institute for my PhD. My dream was M.Sc. in Interdisciplinary Oncology, in University of British Columbia which didn't come true obviously but now hoping for PhD in the same with Kevin Bennewith as a PI. I don't know if God has some other plans for me. It is said that God has better plans. Hoping that KIIT was a good choice for me by God at the end, doesn't seem now, but might be in the future. I hope you're doing good in your PhD, or whichever thing you're doing right now (hopefully PhD fingers crossed*). I think I'm a good person. But you might be even better. Always keep your goodness within you, never let that fade away. You are known for your goodness. You must never let anyone or anything take that away from you. I'm writing this letter because it's thrilling to know that I can send my future self a letter talking about the present and past. Also, I wanted to tell you that always keep loving the people close to you, never forget them. They are the ones who have helped you so far. I always believed that whatever I am today, it is because of them. Good people make good life. Life has been and is good so far. Just wanted to let you know my current feelings, as this might help you. You might be struggling with something right now, so take inspiration from me and calm yourself down. Everything will be okay. Just be yourself and have patience. You have potential (not me but everyone says this, lol) so I know you can do it. I know this letter is very unstructured. "Bhavnaon ko samjho, shabdo pe mat jao" Have faith in God, he does the very best for you <3 Okay Bye From, Mansi 12th May, 2022 BBSR, India Sending love from your past