A letter from Jan 3rd, 2022

Hey self,last year your wrote a letter saying your sad and here I am again writing my sadness through this letter so my future self would be proud that she reached the future year knowing I am struggling today,so please heal,grow into someone better so that you'll be proud of you when you read this in the future,I am doing my best to heal but I guess its the house that destroys me,So future self,move out of this house,spread your wings so you won't be deprived of growing,go and leave what's hurting you,breath.Also,I wanna ask you future self,are still with her?is she still your home?if I lose now then I guess the answer is no,so I'll keep on fighting,growing,so that she won't need to leave me but in the future if your still on the same place,please let her go,she doesn't deserve someone who doesn't want to grow that's why I'm doing my best rn to heal and be better,she's the best thing in my life so I'll do my best but if I lose,please let her fly high,okay?I will be better for me and everyone.You know what makes me proud of me rn,I am not chasing ***** nor avoiding it,I am fighting the urge to die,to **** myself,I have found the reasons I need to live now I need to fight the demons that keeps pulling me to chain me from the chains of pain,but now I have reasons to fight so future self,keep finding more reasons so you won't lose,you have your angels and God,they're stronger than your demons so you have passed them,move forward..go little rockstar.