A letter from Dec 29th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hi. right now, you are 16 and writing this at 1.50 AM... so... how's it going? If it's going well, I'm proud of you. seriously... I’m very proud of you!!! in case you need a dreadful reminder; you aren't doing so well as you write this. well, you have omicron, the new covid variant. oh and is covid still a big problem? please if it is we might as well stop trying. added on with you being sick, your depression just seems to get worse everyday.. I thought therapy and medication reduced these ****** up feelings but all that's happened is the discovery of more mental illnesses. remember? the day you were at L.H's house talking about anxiety and panic attacks, and then she told you how to go to therapy. she got you into therapy. I know you and her aren't friends anymore [well as I write this we aren't so I’m guessing you won't at 20] anyways, what I’m trying to say is, appreciate and be thankful to her and everyone around you who has helped. also, I find it funny how you went to therapy to get a diagnosis for anxiety and ended up getting a diagnosis for Anxiety, OCD, depression, ADHD, and some other suspicions that I won't list. anyway, I don’t want to be a buzzkill, so, let's talk positive! let's.. reminisce. oh and, happy birthday love <3 so, right now you are sitting in bed listening to music and petting Mitty [your lovely cat]. I hope he's still alive. I know its only 3-4 years in the future but you never know and I just love him so much. you have had quite the friendship drama, but all is good now. things have to end. M and E are the greatest friends I could ask for. if you’re not friends with M.P anymore I’m very sad and disappointed! and if you aren't friends with E.B.... why?????? idc what happened, go and text her now and rekindle that friendship. you will not lose that. IB is definitely hard.. well, I feel like if I didn't have to do math, id be doing better.. but, ugh, it's ruining everythingggg I just hope future me is in a nice place and having a good time in university. you are.. in university.. right? please say yes. please tell me you did well and passed IB. tell me it all worked out and you got into uni and are studying something you love. I don’t care what it is, if I love it, I've succeeded. now... some questions: what's it like? I know its not such a big time difference, but, I mean, 16 year old me feels far away from 20 year old me. are you dating anyone? whether it be a girl or a boy, or any person. are you still dating S.L? I hope you aren't. I know its a horrible thing to say, but, I don't want to be with him but I know he likes me and I don’t want to hurt him. I started this relationship and I can't end it so soon. not a second time. I had the chance, when I.S. told him I wasn't sure about the relationship. which was disgusting of her to do so. but I didn't because I didn't want the break up to happened because of some stupid 'friend' invading my privacy. now its all confusing.. BACK ON TRACK; are you happy? like, truly happy? is everyone still... around? did you even make it to 2025.. are you taking care of yourself? you better be telling mummy how much you appreciate her. are I and P married yet? obviously, I hope. I want a brother in law!!!! are you eating? are you still bisexual? weird question, I know. but like, you never know. maybe you are actually *** and just wanna kiss girls. okay feels weird to talk about future me being *** or straight or bi or whatever else there is. this is long, isn't it... I’m tired, but I don’t wanna sleep yet. even though you aren't physically here, or well, you are but you are past me and not 20, I just feel like I’m actually talking to someone who.. understands. like you are here. talking to 16 year old you as 16 year old me talks to 20 year old me. I wonder what I'll look like. I swear if you did some stupid **** to your hair I'm pretending you aren't future me. I must be hot. nah, I know I’m hot. no matter what people say, I’m hot. that sounded narcissistic but ya know what I mean. is grandpa still here? I know he's old, and has cancer, but you never know. he survived two heart attacks!! please tell me his rich *** will survive this.. I know everyone talks of his privileged *** not thinking of his family. but, I know he cares. who cares about money. yeah okay he doesn't give money to us and all, but he doesn't have to. I don’t want or need money. I have a hard working single mum and living in an apartment is fun. **** those houses anyway. okay we got off track there... I just hope he is alive. I don’t wanna lose him. no matter how mad I get about him, I want him alive. I want everyone alive. losing uncle R was weird. it wasn't faire. I hate myself for not feeling as sad as the others might. I was never close with him. I mean he isn't related by blood and never really conversed with me. well, to be fair, I never talk with anyone. its just weird. he died of throat cancer but he never ****** smoked. no matter how close or not close I was with him, he was my uncle. he was family. distant family, but family. its weird to visit aunt K and not see him trimming grass or eating his lemon pasta. its weird thinking of how you reacted to the news.. your sister saying 'oh my god, A... R died..' you'd just come home from school.. made some mama noodles alone in the kitchen, trying to cry. I know this happened like over a year ago, but we can't forget. eating noodles feels weird now. well, anywho, I love you. happy birthday darling. 2.33. AM..sheesh..