A letter from Oct 24th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I don't know what I'm doing right now, I feel like I'm living without purpose. How many times I asked myself if I could highly survive about my goals. How many times I told everyone that I don't need their love, their presence, their care and mostly their attention. I'm building a wall to make sure who are those people who climb the walls just to see me, just to love me. And guess what, No one did. Everytime i feel like emptiness. I'm being sad for no reason, i feel like I live in a crowded world yet still alone. Dare future self, you are one of the reason why I suffer, you are the reason why I need to conquer my dreams, why I need to do my best, look Dear future self you make me sad all the time, you intimidate me, you make me overthink everynightttt!, Everytime I'm alone! HAHAHAHA and that hurts a lot. I'm sorry and I thankyou for being there. Sorry for not being as good as they are, sorry for comparing myself to others, i know i should stop doing it but darling I can't because it's hard. Sorry for being lame, for being useless and anything, but thanks for being there, like I have something i look forward, I hope whatever i have in the future, I'm hoping ut still proud of yourself, I'm hoping that I'm no longer sad, feeling the void that i hardly explain. Please focus with urself now, what ever comes to the future wishing that your still alive❤️ -oldrina (happy birthday)