A letter from Sep 10th, 2021

My Dearest Cristal Jade, The moment this letter has come to your attention, I presumed that you already graduated from college or if not, I hope you're living your best life. Its the 11th of September year 2021 and I still have no idea how we became friends. 2016 was the year that fate bond us together, and in the most unexpected way. 2017, where we have gotten more close that we became inseparable, knew each other better and the time that I told myself "This girl is my bestfriend". 2018, our friendship was challenged for we have found each others set of friends, but we remain stronger. I don't know about you, but 2018 was the year that I started doubting if what we had will last. I saw how you laugh, smile and get along with your friends/classmates, those emotions that I've missed seeing. But I didn't dwell much into those idea because I believe that jealousy is a shallow things in a friendship, or so I thought. But you know what? We moved up together. I even kept our picture. I was proud with the both of us . We have gone so far. Forward to 2019, we started to get matured and so busy with each others life that we forgot to update how our life has been doing. There were times where we are so distant with each other, for no reason at all. 2020, the year I loathed, its where anxiety, loneliness, and depression embraced me. We lost physical contact, we didn't have more time to communicate, I feel like everything changed. I encountered several breakdowns the whole year, and even If I wanted to share it with you, because I can't take it anymore, I chose not to because I might end up being a burden to you. I might add another fuel to your fire. So those inside battles, I kept it to myself. Now, 2021, I feel like we slowly drifting apart. We may hang out but it seems like different. The silent treatments, us being distant to each other, made me wonder, is it maturity or something else was wrong? Still remember those days where we eat lunch at your grandmother house? That shows how we low-maintenance we were. How about those moments where we buy some ingredients for baking? Kuripot kay ta HAHAHAHA. I miss baking, selling and palit food atong halin. Maybe you forgot our first sinulog experience together with genny and angel? Pit Senyor!! That was so fun like thats the first time my parents allowed me to go home late. I think you also forgot when we rode vikings sa fiesta sa mandaue? shet saksakin mo nalang ako lord nagpiyong ra ko permi kuwang nalang sukahan taka. And a lot more of fun things we have done that I can list one by one but Im afraid you might get bored while reading this stupid letter. I don't know why I'm writing to you, maybe I would wake up with amnesia these days, or I might went to the underworld without saying a word. Those little moments are what I treasured the most because I am with the person worth treasuring as well, you. I may not be present on your 18th birthday, please know that I am the happiest seeing you grow. I may not be with you when you feel sad, lonely, and needs comfort, just hug a pillow and embrace it like its mine. You may not see the star more often in the sky, please know that I am looking at the moon knowing that we are both searching for its light and our eyes will reflect each other. I may not be always be at your back when someone attacked your battlefield (maybe because theres also a war that's goin on in my field), know that I'll even catch a bullet for you. Lastly, you may forget me, but I always be here watching you grow, learn, and live without me, from afar. Thank you for choosing to be with me even I'm toxic at times. Thank you for believing in me when I was full of doubts. Thank you for understanding me when everyone else choose to fight. Thank you because you stayed with me for years, even I wanted to leave my own self. You are my the sunset to my sunrise, the arisse to my kath, the jungkook to my taehyung, the best to my friend. I wish to see you get married with the man of your dreams, and see your offsprings. That's if I'm still alive, just kidding, or not. I love you so much and thank you for sticking by my side when everyone had to judge my intentions. Love, J