A letter from Aug 9th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I cant help but feel like im setting my self up for heart break with Andrew. I know we have different things we want yet I let myself love him more and more each day. What will I do when we can't ignore our differences. Ones he realizes how I realy am I can't expect him to want to stay he has a limit every one does even the most patient. I'm tring not to let it bother me to enjoy it while I have it but I can't help but feel the anxiety claw at the back of my heart. Maybe it's just a mix of sleep deprivation, mitski and my lack of meds that's talking and making me suffer like this. Although even on my meds the thought of him falling for me so quick makes me worry what if it's just temporary feelings? Nothing more then a crush that will fade over time? I didn't start loving him but my feelings grow every day if I lose that what will I do? Will he fall for someone else just as quick and leave me as old news? Somthing in me tell me he wouldn't just loose all feelings for me instantly but who knows feelings can be fickle and people can disappear from your life in seconds. He has done a lot for me I put him through so much emotional work the few days I knew him yet he didn't complain, it makes me feel guilty that I doubt his feelings but I can't help but do it. He's so different then me so much more open I miss him ugh what am I doing I have work tomorrow early I need to sleep.