A letter from Jun 16th, 2021

Dear ME, I truly dont know what to say. Ignore my grammar, I feel you will understand that well I dont find it important. It is 2021 I am an 8th Grader oh my gosh. I understand that you know according to you I am a baby but looking back on my life so far, It seems like its been centuries since Elementary School. I miss it, snacks, and pe, and care-free living.. not getting constantly reminded that adulthood is approaching and it is time to look at colleges. WHY? Im literally 14 Ive got 5 more years so excuse me if Im not already taking SAT Prep tests. Its terrifying, becoming an adult.. the thought I mean clearly I have no idea what its like. I dont want to work a 9-5 and then go home to some stupid kids and do it all over again, and again and again until I die. Who wants that? I understand societal norms and being a good contribution to the economy and society but the thought of it makes me sad. I get one chance at life and Im being put in a category, forgotten once my family dies off. I hope we have discovered a way to live.. different by the time we graduate? By the way. how are you? Have we had a partner? Hell, are we alive? You know that at this age terrible images of being kidnapped or ****** or something like that commonly fill our head. Is todd still there? I kind of hope, hes not... Not sure but Im not sure hes good for the family. Disregard my ranting Im using this to get all of my feelings out. I have two more days left of middle school. it feels wrong. I feel gyped like I should just be leaving elementary or 6th grade not going into high school. It doesnt feel like me? Yk? I wonder if we are cool, well cool in our own sense. Right now I think we are well-recieved, look at me talking about us like we are a product to be recieved lmao/ AS you know, we are kind of asinine about grades. id hate to burn out, But I dont want to be like chloe and miss out on highschool because of studying, I want to study and party. BUT WE ARE VERY BAD AT BALANCING STUFF. OMFG ARE WE EVEN GOING TO HAVE FRIENDS???? AH we better have at least 2. Have we talked to Julie or Cara, Tanzie or Marren Lately? Did anyone have a glowup? I think by now we have probably dropped some poeple, Im guessing marren. we dont always get along. I hope we are still friends with julie. Hey did julie turn out to be ***? Like was that a thing? Or was it kind of an ehhh thing like we thought? LMAO ARE WE YK?? I thought maybe but uhh Idk. Im a child man. WE DIDNT GET ANY AWARDS this year... I dont know why, I thought we did a great job in all classes. But here comes the invite only awards ceremony and I. didnt. get. ****. Do we still rely on school for positive feelings or validation? Oh also did we ever go see a therapist or did we just keep writing off our feelings. mmm also did we do debate and forensics? I HOPE SO!! We LOVED that in Middle School and it would be great because tbh we dont have a lot of like natural talent and I felt like with debate we did. ALso do we have a car? and what do we want to do or be with our life? ALSO Okay I promise im almost done... are like.. popular? It sounds stupid but it was always a dream of ours to be loved yet feared/? cant explain it. AHHH OKAY OKAY Ill finish up. Ummm i love you, I hope we are alive and uhhh lets have a good life and make the ******* most of it. Love you.