A letter from Jun 3rd, 2021 (12.44am)

Dear FutureMe, Hey there it's me Omniya, how are you doing? better than now? I hope so. Currently, we are currently in lockdown 4.0, speaking of lockdown, how's covid now? is life back to normal? I hope so. anyways the reason behind why I am writing to you right now is because life currently isn't the best. The first half of 2021 is has been a hard one. Unit 1 of VCE has been hard, life has been stressful and I have been thinking and daydreaming a lot. My grades right now aren't the best with me not getting anything above a 70 for the whole of unit 1, whilst everyone around me is just averaging A's as if it's nothing. School has turned into such a burden and the subjects that I like have turned into the subjects I hate. For more context, if you don't remember anything of 2021, (which I hope you don't because honestly, it's not something I want to take into the future) the classes that you are currently you are taking are; Business (year 12), English, Maths methods (which you have changed out of to general, as of two weeks ago.), Philosophy (which I love the class <3), Visual communications and design, and lastly Media. Besides for English all my classes I do like the context it's just for some reason this year finding the ability to actually do the work has been so hard and having to explain that to people has been so stressful, but anyways, moving on from talking about school because 5 years from now you won't want to be thinking about high school. Moving on to how my home life. Where do i start first of all i was wondering if our mother still yells at us everyday for things that you can't control and if all she does is compare you to other girls your age, who have had a WAY better high school experience then you have because yah that all she has been doing now. Regarding family i was wondering; how is everyone? are they all good? how are Mohab and Emtenan? Mohab would have graduted by now. Is he still the same? does he yell on the PS4 everyday? does he still act immature everyday? How's Emtenan? she would be nearly done high school by then. has she matured? or is she still a little kid. How our father? is still in australia? does he argue with our mother? how's our mother? does all she do is complain about things that you can't control. How's your grandpartner's, after the tragic ***** of grandpa Mubarak of the 1st of April this year. hopefully everyone is doing good and is healthy. Now moving on from talking about my current-self, i want to know about you as, if you currently reading it means that 1. you have made it out of high school and 2. are still alive because for a long time and still currently the thought of me making it past 17 doesn't really exist in my mind but guess what YOU MADE IT and i am so grateful for it. but back to what i was saying: How are you? you are 21 years old now, so you are in university, hopefully studying architectural design as monash like you wished for, but if not, hopefully what you are studying is making you happy and YOU really like it and aren't doing it to impress other people. What Atar did you get? was it over 75? Are you in a relationship? Have you came to terms with your *********? has a guy liked you yet because currently you are going on nearly 17 years of not ONE person hitting you up and its kinda getting to me. like what is wrong with me, did i do something wrong, am i supposed to be lonely for ever, am i never going to get into a relationship, because its kinda getting annoying everytime someone asks you if you have a bf or if you have ever been in a realtionship and you simply have to say no. have you had your first kiss? are you a virgin? becuase currently i feel as if no one will ever hit me up and it hurts ngl. How are your friends? hows pia, sylvia, kim san and hong, your G3 besties. hows lyna, do you still talk to these people or did you cut them off, like you did in the past with all your previous friends. Do you have the black friendgroup that you wish for? Do you have a friendgroup where you go out? Do you have a best friend? do you love the friends you have rn?how are your relationships in the sudani community? do you have any sudani freinds? where do you work? hopefully in a cafe, or something even better BUT hopefully not still maccas. Hopefully you are saving money and not spending it a lot, but don't forget to treat yourself. what car do you drive? is it a civic. What does your bedroom look like? Do you still live at home? did you decorate it? What book are you currently reading? currently i'm trying to start reading the book 'YOU' What show are you currently watching? currently i'm watching bojack horseman. Whats you favourite song? i would say that mine is Complexities ( or the whole of the CASE STUDY 101 ALBUM) by Daniel Caesar. is Daniel Caesar still your favourite artist? if not who is? do you still listen to K-pop? Have you lost weight? do you have the body you want? do you go to gym? did your hair grow longer?do you have clear healthy skin? did your skin get lighter? do you have nice teeth? are you pretty? how is your islamic faith? do you love yourself? have you broken you bad habits? ( stealing, spending, self harm, lying) Did you end up finding a good therapist? do you achieve the happiness that you wanted? are you loved by others? anyways, no more questions, i just to remind that you are worth it and beautiful and that if no one loves you, i do, i love you so much and wish you the best and soon enough we are going to be living a sucessful life where you have degree in architecture and are working a job you love, looking like one of the hot girls that you have saved on your pinterest with your beautiful boyfriend/husband planning your future together (the life of having two kids and a cat in a house you designed with him working an amazing job and just loving you and your kids and it being a healthy relationship), calling all your hot friends and just living the ulimate pinterest life that i love ever wished for. having the east african friend where we pray and go on pinics and stufff and INSHALLAH INSHALLAH INSHALLAH im a good muslim now. but anyways YOU GOT THIS, look at how far you have gotten and just remember that i always and will always have your back for when you need. anyways i love you so so so so much babes HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY, i wish you a very happy 21th birthday and wish you the best for the future.