Squalling meatsack

Dearest Celly o' the future, Well, the way I'm imagining things, you probably just got out of your flying car, from your daytrip to a spa on Mars, where you got injections of some chemical that actually makes it so you don't age, period, and you've come home to your loving and non-awkward life partner, or else... like, a kitty or something. The voice of that annoying little whiny 20-year old brat you used to be has come back to haunt you, darling. Thought she was long dead? Not so, dear. Not so. So, how are things? You're, what, 30? Wow. I haven't even taken the math portion of my GED test, and even I know you're 30, which is, like, so damn old all I can do is laugh at you. Masami freaking Ikeda isn't even that old. (Yeah, remember her?) But, apparently you're still alive, or else you wouldn't be reading this. (Unless the world ended. Whoa, I sure hope not. Damn.) So, are you well? Have you come down with some debilitating disease? Did that lump on the back of your thigh turn out to be cancer? Because that's what I'm thinking it is. The fact that I can't even get up without excruciating pain? I bet it's cancer. Do you still have your leg? Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. Are you in good shape? I don't mean, like, supermodel good, but, better than I am in now? I've just started exercising again, so if I can keep it up, YOU should be a gorgeous and slender babe at this rate. So, are you? Let's see. What's the internet like? Has it gone to all flash? Is HTML dead? I bet it is. I bet there's something even better than flash. Damn, are people even still using dial-up??? I'm using dial-up right now. What are you using? Does it rock? Fuck, I bet you could download an entire movie over your connection in one night. (Is that just really funny and arcane? Is that like saying "I bet you could have RGB IMAGES on your PERSONAL INTERNET HOMEPAGE!!!11" to someone in 2005? Well, forgive me.) Well, how IS your connection? Are people even still concerned with that anymore? Damn, what do graphics look like??? Are they like, so realistic you can't even tell they're animated by people? What gaming console are people using? Right now, the Xbox 360 just came out, and we're expecting the PS3 soon. Well, what have YOU got? Um... oh! How did that shift to all-digital TV go? And, wasn't there some crap about plugging your computer into electrical outlets to get internet access? Did that ever happen? You notice I'm not asking about your life. Well, its cause I'm scared. What if you're some 700 pound mumu wearing bitch on welfare? I saw this show recently about the "600 pound woman", and I'm so scared that'll be you. Do you have a job? Are you writing? Did you ever graduate from high school or college or anything? Have you produced anything? What business are you in? Um... who's still alive? Oooh, that's morbid. But it's a valid question. Right now, I've got Ma, Dad, Floamer, Momo, Pony and Smurge, and Blacky and Narcissus the fish. Oh, and Grandma and Miki. Well? Who's still kickin'? And for those who aren't... did they go fast? Was it... did you handle it okay? Are you different? Can you still relate to me? I mean, I can't imagine that that would really be a very lofty goal, but, who knows. Do you envy me? Do you miss me? Do you hate me? Are you married? Are you single? Do you have *gag* kids? Oh, I hope not. Are you still a virgin?? Who did you have sex with, if not? Man or woman? I'm interested!! My bet is on woman. *purr* But I also hope you're not on the street or in some home. Please don't get schizophrenia. That would suck. Also, I hope the rapture and stuff didn't happen. And I hope George Bush didn't blow up the world. I hope you're comfortable, safe, happy and... you don't regret anything! Are you still drawing???? I bet photoshop or... whatever you're using... totally rocks. How about writing? If you have anything published or whatever, is it the Surumeis or Lula? Haha. What did you ever end up doing with Netta? I can't imagine... she'd still be working. YOU SHOULD HAVE BURIED HER IN THE BACKYARD! That's actually a good idea. The day she dies, that's what I'll do. :D :D :D Or... will I? Okay, well, I love you. I'm going to write some more letters now, and, uh, listen to my IPOD MINI, which is ALREADY obsolete. What are they using now? HOW MUCH HARD DRIVE SPACE IS STANDARD??? Or are they even still using hard drives? Hey, where do you live? Is the house still standing? Boy, I hope this gets sent. Well, Celly (Sarah) from December 23, 2005 loves you. Don't ever forget this.